I know I always talk about my ex, but I can’t help it. He is a piece of my depression. A huge piece. I just want to tell someone… I haven’t checked my text messages in 11 days. I turned alerts off. I don’t even know if I have any new messages. I quit cold turkey. It’s like smoking. If he were a cigarette, I would be 11 days cigarette free. The problem is I don’t know if other people are messaging me. It’s not a big deal, it’s not as if I have a ton of friends… they have other ways to get in contact me if they wanted to.
As soon as I turned my messages off on my phone I felt so much relief. I stopped having panic attacks and my suicidal thoughts decreased. I still think of death, but… I was a mess before. Being away from him is good for me. I definitely can’t be his friend like he wants. I feel bad though. I completely cut him off. I know he isn’t as worried about it like I am. His thoughts are on himself, as it should be. And I know he must be tired of me. I wish him well, whatever he is doing…