So close, yet so far away

I think one of the few good things (if not the best) that have happened to me since I got to highschool was meeting my current best friend. She really changed my life. I’ve become somewhat of a more “open” person in some aspects. She somehow makes me feel grateful for what I have in my life. Sadly, today is not one of those days. There’s still an issue that’s been going in and off of my mind for the past year or so.

I feel like I shouldn’t be her best friend. I feel like we shouldn’t be best friends. I feel that, even though we might be so close to one another, there’s something in me that somehow doesn’t fit in this friendship. There are times in which we are together, but I feel like she’s more into her own thoughts and don’t notice I’m there. There are even times where she is talking with everybody but me. I mean, I know I’m not her only friend, and that she doesn’t have to be with me at all times, but there are some relationships she has that are so different to the one we have.

I don’t know how I got to be her BFF, but we are so different. She’s so happy, lively, full of energy, and I’m the total opposite of that. We are complete opposites in almost every aspect possible. That makes me feel insecure about if I’m a good “match” for her. Maybe I worry too much (?). The thing is, I can’t find any aspect in myself that would make her wanna be best friends with me, when there are like literally 10 other people out there whom I’ve seen are almost the same as her.

I think I should just stop thinking and be grateful for having her.
So, yeah. Love you Annie… Thanks for existing.