Idk if this is the way I have always been or that this is the way I have become. I have so little to offer the world, so little skill or ability which in many ways makes me a worthless loser.
that wouldn’t be bad if I wasn’t such a monster inside. As the feeling of helplessness build coupled with lack of connection, and on top of that people acting towards me like I’m some sort of a freak, it created/encouraged the monster within.
It was the copping mechanism which has further ruined my life. As the problems were put off to a later age, the monster grew and dug my hole deeper.
my family members say they care about me, but were they there!!!??? Did they help the monster not to be build? Or did they just put more pressure on my emotional distance??
:'(. I feel like I don’t deserve to live. I’m too helpless and crushed by everything in life to fix things now