I am tired, ive struggled for many years now, through chronic pain and major depression. I became distant from my partner and now i have lost her, we have been separated for the last year, and while i love her with all my heart i know we can never be together again,
my regret will be leaving my little girls, but i know watching there Daddy slowly decline will be worse for them, i only have one wish, and that is to hope they will know that daddy will love them forever, and i will always be with them, i only have a week or two left, i just need to decide what i will do…
I’m sorry to hear about your situation, lost your love and depression, but you need to stick around for your girls that’s just the way it is and the way it should be, if i was in your shoes this is what i’d do, first you need a new companion but you may think that would be hard to find, it’s not, i’d find a girl that is depressed like yourself and try to help her, in turn she will try to help you, that’s the way it it works, then perhaps you two may form a bond. just an idea 🙂 you are a soldier! CARRY ON!
I read your post and I completely understand. I plan on checking out soon too. I’m crying as I type this because the pain of life has become unbearable. I was curious about your user name. Did you serve in the military? Do you have PTSD? If so maybe you can get help so that you can stick around for your girls? I would give anything to have had children or at least some reason to live. Any way, whatever you decide, I hope you find peace.
Tough choices. Sorry to hear this.
I was a soldier before being discharged from injury, i am australian and many times the government likes to forget and hurt our soldiers. I have stopped myself many times for the sake of my children, i even started University this year, but as time progress and i see my children growing up with out me in their life everyday, watching them cuddle up to my wife, as i have to walk out the door saying good bye, breaks my heart… ive tried moving on, and have found someone i have a lot of feelings for, even would describe as love, but in the end im tired, and just want rest… my service is done, in my heart i know i will be happy with my choice.
i understand the toll it takes to deal with chronic physical pain on a daily basis, so i won’t lie to you and say it will get better. only you know your situation and your body and everyone has a breaking point.
you seem to be mostly at peace with your decision. whatever you choose, i wish you well.