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Urge

by mranony

I have this urge to cut my arms again after months. But I don’t want to be interrogated again. Every time the blade is touching my skin, I would remember the day they found out. It was horrible. But I want to cut so bad. I did cut on my hips as an alternative but it doesn’t feel the same.

I feel so frustrated. I hate my horrible life decision. I hate myself for being a stupid and empty person. They’re expecting an adult but I don’t know how to grow up. I don’t know. I feel so lost.

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dyinginny 3/26/2016 - 8:49 am

Hey mranony,
I hate myself too. I understand the feeling. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to “grow up”. It just happens when your not looking. Just take one step at a time.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/26/2016 - 10:49 am

Hi mranony, who told you that you needed to be a grown up? Way over rated. Trust me on this one. I’ve been avoiding the whole grown up thing for the past 47 years.

How about instead of being a grown up we learn to love ourselves unconditionally? Be our own parents that love ourselves. No grown up really likes themselves, but most 4 year olds are pretty smug bastards about how much they love themselves. So here is to being a smug 4 year old that is stoked about the fact we managed to poop in the toilet today. Tomorrow? Well we might not make it to the toilet on time, but today? Damn just nailed that task spot on.

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