Waiting @ the stop, reminiscing

The little one I used to be,
Abandoned and replaced by,
a ghost in purgatory, a shadow crawling along decaying masonry in the dire dusk
I’ve been in this world long enough,
a refusal of existence comprised of sorrow with beauty hinted at but never possessed
The circus calls out to me and revelations of younger years ferment in the circuitry
Impossible to leave in this condition,
I’m still too thirsty, too weary, too broken
Numb to others until I become Aurora, glistening and carefree,
then the final act to beckon me into the abyss,

Exciting and disorienting,
The grim reaper stamps my ticket behind cold glass,
A smile so wide it draws my senses back intact, less survival
I clasp the freshly tatted thin wooden mass and wait for the bus,
Reminiscing on a bench,
Thoughts come in a rush and i lapse on my back
Beautiful naïveté,
Teenage wastelands,
The time my beloved and I first met,
The time we skipped stones at the beach waiting for the ferry home
The fantasies of perfection,
Greener grass and kitty cats
Memories warm me as I wait,
But I won’t miss it,
Life.
No bitterness remains within or without
Everyone has a special moment,
And I don’t plan to waste it whence it comes
A beautiful chaos is what life has thrown at me
Romance and heartbreak and great escapes,
I was always running now I wait,
Perfectly still.
“Come aboard”
I oblige,
Whispering under my breath
“at long last”