What do you do when suddenly the person who meant the world to you, is gone. When you’ve shared everything with that person, built up trust in them, grew with them, gave them all of you.. shared all your “firsts” with them because you knew they would be there forever and you knew them so well – or you thought you did. You “knew” they would never betray you or lie to you because they loved you and you had so much confidence in it that there was absolutely no questioning it. You do everything for that person, for years they are your best friend and you love them beyond explanation and you’ve discussed a future with them. You make so many memories, determined to never let anything happen between you two. But then one day, you find out that they’ve been lying to you this whole time. Betraying you, cheating you. Suddenly all you thought you were to that person – was never enough. All those promises and experiences gone to waste. All those firsts wasted on someone who didn’t deserve it.. Now the memories crush you, pull you down. The ground crumbles beneath you but there’s no where to land. Your will and fake happiness is slowly, ravenously digested by this monster called depression. Now the part of you that they had filled evaporates, leaving behind a huge, echoing emptiness. You curse yourself for putting your heart in someone else’s hands, because you knew they’d drop it! You always fucking knew, yet you gave it to them anyway! Lonliness and despair soon presses on you and surrounds you until you’re gasping for air. “stupid girl” , you think to yourself. Soon you’re overwhelmed by the pain of it all, and you don’t see a way out of this needy tar that keeps pulling you down lower and lower. “I need out. I need out!” There’s only one clear solution to erase all the pain, to lose the memories in the darkness forever.
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Sometimes things take an awful turn. However, the memories are often left behind. You probably enjoyed many of those firsts as they were happening. Try not to forget the good times. In hindsight, maybe they did or didn’t deserve it. However, it’s done and can’t be changed. Maybe there are lessons learned. Use those lessons as you move forward.
Don’t stop moving forward.
What’s the point in moving forward though..? Everything you’ve ever counted on has been washed out from under your feet and there’s nothing else keeping you tied to this world..
Find a new person/thing to keep you moving forward. Find a new purpose
If you’ve experienced the good times once, it means that you are capable of building the bridge required to experience them again. History can repeat itself… if you re-use the skills that you used previously. Take a moment or few to reflect… and then work on building things up again.
And every time you remember Good times You’ll also remember That Everything Bad.. I don’t Agree that memories often left behind.. I know that feelings maybe Not As Someone others but It happened in my life and Those Things Will never Left behind Even if I really wish.
Unfortunately, life isn’t perfect. The words ‘challenges,’ ‘problems,’ and ‘upset’ exist because those things occur. I sometimes received a high electric bill. At a certain point, I have to pay the bill, enjoy the freezing cold air conditioning while it lasted, and move forward. Expecting life to have no challenges is unfortunately something that might not be realistic.
Hi! I can’t really advise you shit, but if you feel like it, please consider this.
When it turns out a person you held in such esteem did not correspond to your feelings and they went as far as deceiving you, it is just a feeling of hollowness that I don’t really know the English word for it. You held so much precious feelings inside you, and they’re all suddenly gone. Only the emptiness remains, to remind you that once you used to feel whole.
But you don’t have to let go of so much. You said right, all the time and effort and experiences, you “shared”. You didn’t ” give” them away. They’re yours to keep. So don’t kill that part of yourself. Maybe they were spent with someone less than ideal, but hey, that happens. You’ll do better next time. There is no intrinsic value to first times either.
Also, sounds like you got rid of an asshole, that’s always a plus.
Ha yes I did get rid of an asshole. Kinda sucks that I didn’t figure out that they were an asshole sooner. really sucks actually. I’m fond of many of the memories and experiences and sometimes I feel that I’d really like to remember it all and be glad it happened. But then there are other times when remembering hurts too much and I just wanna forget more than anything.