A year and a half later

Hi guys. I’m still here! And by here, I mean alive. Maybe I don’t feel all mentally there 100% of the time. I’m not recovered by any means. But, I’m significantly better. Medicated with prescriptions that work so well for me. I’ve changed. I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I have more friends now. I have a boyfriend. Yeah, he lives in England and I’m in the USA. It’s not ideal. But I’ve never been so in love in my life. Am I allowed to write shit like this? Am I allowed to be happy? Regardless, I’m dying to share what I’ve been experiencing. I cut about a month ago. But before that, I hadn’t cut since I last posted on here. October 2014. I’m 20. Officially out of my teen years. 🙂 It doesn’t mean I’m a brand new person. None of this means I’m a brand new person. But if I want to walk out of the house with purple lipstick on, I do. If I don’t want to talk to anyone for a long time, I don’t force myself and I treat myself to “me” time. I allow myself to love animals more than people. I allow myself to be a skeptic, a cynical individual who at the same time tends to be witty and sweet. I know myself so much more. I know more of what works, and what doesn’t. College thus far hasn’t been a complete waste. I no longer beat myself up for being shy. I’m a mystery. It’s not like I scream at the world “look at me. I’m confident.” But I try new things everyday. New subtleties that allow me to branch out and confirm to myself that I know that I can be that confident girl.