Soo… hey everyone!
Been down these past days, but at least I didn’t take any pills today so I’m not falling asleep everywhere.
I want to share some stuff with you guys, if you’d let me.
First, tomorrow would be my dad birthday, hadn’t he died from cancer two years ago (a quickly abstract for those who didn’t read my previous post: I feel responsible for that).
Even though out of my four sisters I only speak to one (and a half. Does text count as talk?), my mother want ALL of her daughters to spend the day together and try and be nice with each other. Wish me good luck because I really don’t feel like talking nice to my sisters, now with how much they hurt me. Anyway, that’s a story for another time, maybe.
Second, and even more important, but I kind of not want to talk about it (maybe it won’t be true if we don’t talk about it!), one of my sisters (the elder, actually) went to the doctor to do a check, and guess what? They found a cyst on her endometrium (is that the world? Please forgive my English! I repeat, I never studied it). They must do a biopsy and then… well… We’ll see. NOTE: Of course I feel like the Universe is laughing at me with this. Even though my sister has suicidal tendencies and hurt herself more times than I can count, this is LOW, Universe. LOW as fu*k.
I’m sleeping on the dining room’s floor and I spend as much time as I can out of my house because my ‘little’ sister (she’s 20) kinds of want to fight ALL THE BLOODY TIME and finds any excuse to do so (specially the one where I don’t have a job and she does and she’s paying the bills… the same bills I paid four years in a row while studying, while she slept all day long, but, hey, she doesn’t remember that, she was, in fact, asleep).
So yeah, my life’s a party.
At least I keep on singing (I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing that. I mean, some days I don’t know WHAT to sing, and somedays I sing really quietly, but I don’t think I have ever stop singing).
SP in by far the best thing that has happened to me in the last two years so THANK YOU ALL.
If anyone wants to talk about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, hit me up.
Love you all.
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4 comments
I’m so sorry about your dad. Why do you feel responsible for his cancer? I read your last post but I didn’t see anything about that.
Sorry about your sister too. Hopefully it’s nothing serious. I remember when I was in college my girlfriend had an ovarian cyst and they did have to remove it but a few weeks later she was perfectly fine.
BTW you never studied English? I assumed you were from the UK or Australia because of your use of “bloody.” Anyway your English is really good for it not being your first language. What is your first language?
Thank you.
Then maybe I wrote about it in other post… I really don’t even know how many post I published.
I’m from Argentina, I speak Spanish.
I have hope my sister will be ok, but it just feels like… a big fat joke on me, really. Wanting to die for ten years and never doing anything about it, now all my family members get sick or dies.
And I use “bloody” because of Ron Weasley and his “bloody hell” ?
00… I’m sorry about your father. Not so long ago (April 6) would have been my brother’s 31st b’day had he not been stabbed and butchered to death by my savage god-fearing so-called christian neighbours on April 11.
Just like you, I feel guilty about his death. He died because of me. He was defending me from those dogs and they killed him. Reason I hate April so much. (But I’m still good. Nothing’s gonna ruin my high)
I’m sorry about your sister as well. Hope things get better with the other one.
I love my sisters to bits. And we fight all the time and laugh about it the next minute.
Hope things get better for you.
I’m so, so sorry for your lose, my friend. I can only hope that things will be better for the both of us.
Thank you for your words.
You being there, guys, it means the world to me.