AN OPEN LETTER FOR EVERYONE

I know some of you might be into deep holes right now and some were at the point of their life when all they want to do is to break down and cry, or even die. Yes, I do understand because even I myself can’t do this anymore.. but I’m still trying as long as I can. That’s why I am here not to tell you that ‘everything is gonna be fine’,’get up and it will get better soon’ or ‘put yourself together don’t be weak’ because even I can’t believe that it’s all gonna be alright. I’m not going to tell you the words you wanted to hear but rather I’m here to tell you the words you NEEDED.

You see? Life is so unfair. It’s such an envious feeling knowing that some other people were drowning in good blessings, having a stable lifestyle (job, money, family, friends, love, etc.) and then there’s you who can’t find the way out of the goddamn hole and you feel like you’re drowning into your own vomit and let people watch you die day by day without asking if you’re okay or you needed some help. There might be some other people you can talk to but neither of them can truly understand what you feel and all they can offer is “it’s okay” no! Everything’s falling apart and it’s not okay! How could people think that every little thing that matters can be fixed in split of a second? And worst, the people you value the most, the ones whom you are open with, never understand you at all. Let’s admit, we don’t want anyone to be involve in our own problems but deep inside we all crave for someone’s attention who can listen to our depressing stories without being judged.

I am such a great pretender, and I know most of the people here are too. We want to have that strong image and act completely okay despite the fact that we were all tearing apart inside. It’s like we’re trapped in a dark four-cornered room and can’t even search for the door. We all think that the world is better off without us, that when we die, we can be at peace forever but somehow we want to know more about life, we want to do something but we don’t even know what it is. We want to find ourselves and maybe, just maybe, people will find us too. We all think that this life isn’t worth living. I have a confession to make, I doubted several times of ending my life but my guilt always wins knowing how cruel I am to end my life when millions of sick people would love to trade places with me at any second. Like most of you, I don’t really know what to do with my life anymore, but I’m trying hard as long as I can to find a reason to live, to grow in any perspective, but it’s hard for me to go back from who I was before. Because sometimes, all you can do is to break down than to watch how things fall apart in front of your naked eyes. I know the pain inside me will take so much time to heal, or maybe not. How I wish life could be as easy as saying the words “It’s okay.” I can do this… maybe

I still managed to give my sincerest piece of advice to all of you. Wounds can heal, but the scars will always remain. The word “forget” doesn’t exist when talking about pain, because forgetting something that caused so much pain is not actually painful. There might be some things that will remind us of our bitter pasts, relationships, or even memories. That’s why I am here to tell you that it’s not really true that scars can heal easily. Take all the time you needed. It’s okay to break down and cry and cry and cry and cry until you no longer have tears left in your eyes. It’s okay to have some time alone with yourself. Find you, find the real you – the one who used to be a natural person. It wasn’t easy to move on. But don’t ever give up you life. Just because you can’t see it’s point doesn’t mean that it’s already pointless. And most especially, always remember that you’re not a big mistake. You’re not a waste. What defines you is how you learn from life, not what other people think of you. We all have our own books with different stories, some people have published their books without finishing the last three chapters or some books are even left blank. Before you give up your life, make sure to finish your story first, I’m pretty sure you don’t want other people to be depressed by reading your story because you know exactly how it felt like. Your story might be a tragic one, but atleast people can learn from it. What I’m trying to say is, let it all go. Do what you want to do as much as you know it’s right. Life won’t judge you for being who you are, what you are, and who you will be. Wishing good luck to people like us. Cheers to who we’ve been, who we might be, and who we will be.

Don’t forget to leave your comments. I wish you learned something from me. You can talk to me anytime and I promise I won’t judge.