…I haven’t posted in a while, and that’s becouse I’ve been trying to be happy and stay happy. But why do I always end up at the starting point, feeling worthless and tired? This deppression suffocates me, it’s not letting go. Sharp knife rests on my wrist begging to slice it open! I know I shouldn’t do it. Trying to restrain myself….but it feels so good! The pain is addictive, the blood is beautiful! I’m afraid of what people will think of me if I tell them how I feel. Will they think I’m weird and insane? Am I weird? Am I insane?
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Hi Dear, it’s okay to feel afraid of how people judge you but keep the negative out and keep the positive in. Everyone is unique in their particular way and maybe someone would think that your weirdness is a norm. What’s being normal anyway, right? I used to self-harm and at times, I do have the urge to do it because it’s so addictive and it’s a relief to let go the pain. However, don’t cut yourself. I don’t know where you stay but it would be helpful if you take a walk in the park during the morning where nobody will disturb you.
Sometimes reading doesn’t really help, so write it out. No matter how painful your depression gets, write it out. Write everything about your depression and the negativeness that you feel and shred the paper away. In a way, you’re destroying your depression by your own hands and you will feel better, much better than hurting yourself. I know different people have different ways of coping but in whatever you do, don’t hurt yourself.
Thanks for the reply. I’m really trying not to self-harm, i didn’t self harm in 2 months now. Walks in the park could help me, thanks for the advice. Writing does help. I wrote a couple of songs actually, and writing my problems on this page helps a lot, even if nobody reads it it helps.
That’s good to hear! You can always post the songs up and I think most people would relate to it as well. Even if there are people who are being stupid and childish, to comment of “how bad it is”, just leave them be. If you need any listening ear or even someone to write to, you can always look for me (if you want). Really, best of luck in fighting depression. You’re not alone in this fight!