I think the fact that I been cutting on an unusual amount recently has finally got me. I finally talked to both of my parents they’re both telling me to come home which I’m starting to think they’re right I’ve only been here 1 month the Amount have a Damage made to myself is too much . I think I’m actually might have left a scar so I I haven’t left a scar since I was 17 years old .when I left the the first letter of the words garbage worthless dirt selfish junk and I should kill myself .I seen yesterday those letters are right underneath work harder I’ve accumulated a lot of cuts my arm too.
so while talking to me mother and father I took up some coping skills everybody says they take a pen and write down what you’re feeling. instead of cutting.apparently if you put enough force on a pen you get a nice big old cut that says I want to die on your arm.whoever does this use a marker because I don’t think it will cut you.
finally stopped crying while writing this but I’ll probably start right back up once I’m done.
no I haven’t agreed with my parents for a long time but I think they’re right because I don’t think I could do this anymore my mother use the words today we gave you enough rope to hang yourself… I don’t really want to die I just want to be happy. I don’t leave any more scars I don’t know how I was able to look at them and feel happy. why would cutting myself open and seeing blood and watching it scab over .make me feel happy in any way I’m literally destroying my body because I am so unhappy.
I need to go home weather my husband comes home with me or not I don’t care.I can’t do this anymore I can’t take this anymore I cant I can’t
I am many awful things but I really don’t know what I did to suffer this way really don’t know..
*I’m crying again *