Imagine you are in an emotional crisis and you need to feel comfort and consolation, so you turn to the photo album you keep. You open it, hoping to find good memories from those few moments in the past when everything seemed okay, even if only for a short while.
But when you open the photo album, it is mostly blank and empty. 90% of the pictures have been removed, and you are left with nothing more than what your spotty memory can recall.
This is how I feel when I go back through SP, trying to re-live good memories from favorite fun conversations in the past– only to find that the post has been deleted.
Some of my favorite, most warm, fun, comforting, reassuring, humorous SP moments are gone. Forever. Permanently. I have nothing but my fading memory of them– which gets worse all the time because of my Cerebral Atrophy.
There were conversations and interactions with people I really loved– people who might be dead now, people with whom I may never speak again. And now their words are gone.
The walls of the pit are deeper now, and the ladders I relied on have been lifted away.
28 comments
If you know the post’s title… or some of the text within the post or its comments (the more precise, the better)… check Google. Most of the posts and comments here are archived online… even long after the post has been deleted here.
Many of the members that I’ve met here have been absent from SP for a while. The posts bring back memories. In moments of tough times, there was a lot of compassion, support, and humor.
SP is a blessing… in more ways than one.
There is indeed a lot of comfort and reassurance in revisiting the old times when things were better.
Its like going to thr park and you see that old man feeding pidgeons everyday.. And then oneday he disappears..
You dont know him yet his mere existance were extremely pleasant.. The way he skt the way to throw the seed the way he gaze at the birds… You watch from afar.. You keep on saying “priceless”
And now he is gone, you dont know if he moved or died.. You dont actually know him personaliy yet you cant forget how wonderful he was.. Just like a cloud in a sunny day that blocks the sun so you look above, close your eyes and smile then take a deep breath and sigh
In that moment.. It seemed a very nice day and suddenly it turned out to be not..
I know exactly how you feel cordless, as for i am have lived my whole life in silence.. Merely watching everyone go..
I know the feeling.
Good example.
I’m so, so sorry Cordless…Why are they deleted? Did the poster delete them?
Hi. A lot of times the Origjnal Poster deletes the post. There are a variety of reasons. Sometimes the OP leaves or takes a break from SP and wants their slate cleaned. Others don’t want to leave a trail. Yet others delete old posts because it’s from a time period that they’ve moved forward from.
There are lots of memories left behind even if the post is deleted.
There are a few users who like to delete their posts, for a variety of reasons.
I recognize that they have a right to do that if they really want to; I just want to make sure people understand that there’s another part to the story. Some people find it very therapeutic to read through the comments on those posts, re-living the good times when we all interacted in a humorous way on a specific topic. It’s like re-reading a good book you really enjoyed.
I”m sorry cordless. It didn’t occur to me this weekend about that aspect of the threads my being here created. You are part of my woven blanket of beautiful humans. I wiped a lot of things. Next time I take a mental vacation I should really just log off and go to the beach or Coney Island or something. Just as much terror but less collateral damage.
In the future, you could take screenshots of posts with your phone if you want to look back on them… or even go into Firefox browser and copy and paste everything into a Word document (I think that’s the browser that used to work for me… unless I’m mistaken).
There were people here in the past (some of whom still visit the site), who would have long, random, fun conversations on some off-topic post, but would then delete their post in a few hours before they went to sleep for the night. I also delete all my posts here (though I mostly take screenshots first).
Often, it isn’t really the post itself, but the COMMENTS.
The comment section doesn’t always stay on topic, and it’s there that we often feel free and unfettered and able to really have fun joking around. Sometimes it’s the only smile I have all day long.
I’ve taken screenshots of everything, including all the comments, on memorable posts. 😛 (In the past, I copy and pasted everything into a Word document. Nowadays I’m only online with my phone.)
I think I know what you are talking about: http://suicideproject.org/author/cordless/
Compared to mine: suicideproject.org/author/october_rain Check with admin; there might just be some technical glitch of sorts.
Take two. Let’s try this again: I think I know what you are talking about: suicideproject.org/author/cordless/
Compared to mine: suicideproject.org/author/october_rain (Copy and paste, ladies and gents.) Check with admin; there might just be some technical glitch of sorts.
According to that link, you only have one post in your archives.
Did you delete your archive, or is it a SP glitch…?
I can’t ask the admins; they have never ever answered any help request I have ever sent. Apparently they answer other people but not me. I have no idea why.
What I’m referring to, though, is people who have deleted their past posts on purpose.
Yeah, I always delete my posts — pretty much since from the beginning.
How do you know you have cerebral atrophy?? I was told that I had that 20 years ago, but here I still am in the health field working and doing a good at it to boot!! Granted I am only working part time, but I make enough money to support myself and get by ( it is tight ). Anyways, I think that some test told some doctor that you have cerebral atrophy—well the Human brain is much more complex than physicians know. Brain cells are rebuilding and reconnecting constantly. The damage is not in any cerebral atrophy, but in the depression and anxiety that it causes you to hear that you have it. Keep reciting pi, and while you are at it the Greek Alphabet. Then maybe the hydrocarbon aliphatic series–you know: methane,ethane,butane,propane,pentane,hexane,heptane,octane and the rest!!
I had Cerebral Atrophy diagnosed after a set of MRI’s that were done last month.
They even did the kind with Gadolinium dye to be sure.
I’m not making it up; it’s a real thing and I absolutely have it. It would certainly be stupid to pretend otherwise, just like it would be incredibly stupid to ignore any other serious diagnosis.
The cells atrophy more quickly than they can grow.
http://www.healthgrades.com/conditions/cerebral-atrophy
And that page explains that once the brain cells die, they do NOT grow back.
The rate of decay is variable from person to person, which would explain why yours has apparently decayed at a slow rate. Mine might go more quickly because Alzheimers disease runs in the family.
I have accepted the truth of it, and I am at peace with that. I refuse to pretend it doesn’t exist, I refuse to pretend it isn’t serious, and I refuse to sugar coat it.
Cerebral Atrophy is not what’s causing my depression.
You still have the people that made those memories with you, and they can continue to share them with you, and if nothing else, make as many more new one’s as possible, 🙂
Exactly.
That isn’t really the point; the point is that there are specific past interactions I wanted to re-visit. There were good memories and fun interactions and jokes that will never be made in that exact same setting ever again.
And new memories can NOT be made with those same people, if they are gone or if they are dead.
I’m sorry Cordless, I had to wipe everything. It was either that or check myself inpt. I enjoy my freedom and hate hospital food. we can make new memories!
See my comment above.
Cordless, were in the business of making new memory’s CHOMP! CHOMP! New memory’s our better than old ones.! 🙂
New memories can’t be made with people who aren’t here anymore.
Hazy Day Sunflower, stop stealing my lines!! even if your quicker than me!!!
Cordless, new memory’s are made with people that are here! who wants yesterdays papers! 🙂 we are your new memories! get over it and love us!! 🙂 CHOMP CHOMP!
Earlier I described it as re-reading a good book you loved and want to re-visit.
So in that sense, “yesterday’s papers” are actually quite comforting, like a warm blanket.
Comments are the only interaction I have with most of you, so when one of you leaves or dies, those comments are all I have.
Nothing can be done about the previous posts, but in the future you could always take screen captures of the posts that you find entertaining and save them in folder you can access when you need a pick-me-up.