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First Half-Baked Attempt

by J Doe

Hello.  Lately I’ve been feeling less like a piece of shit than usual.  However, I’m positive that I’ll have a freak out sooner or later.  Since I’ve been on SP for a week I might as well talk about the first and only time I’ve ever attempted suicide.  And by that I mean a half-baked attempt that would have just landed me in the hospital with a stomach ache or not even that.  So this was a few years ago and my depression was the worse it had ever been.  My parents had just got done yelling at me for a $20 dollar fee I never followed up on.  I was scared and I just wanted to die.  They went out of the house for something that I can’t really remember.  So I was crying and I got this idea in my head.  I opened the drawer to find baby aspirin.  That’s right baby aspirin.  I even remember thinking “Is this even going to kill me?”  I checked on the back and it said “If more than 5 are consumed at a time, it might result in kidney failure.”  So I just shrugged and took the bottle to my room.  I got a huge glass of water, which probably would’ve diluted the aspirin, and a huge handful of baby aspirin.  I held it up to my mouth and had tears streaming down my face and snot dripping from my nose.  In the end I wimped out and put the bottle with the aspirin back.  I just laid on my bed and cried myself to sleep.  Well that’s it.  I doubt my slightly ok mood will last long. Thanks for listening.

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distant.road 4/20/2016 - 12:59 am

Thankfully, you survived. While I don’t want you to suffer, I am relieved that you are still here… and that you have found a supportive place like SP.

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