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Giving it one more shot

by fitzgerald

Did I plan on being dead by now? Yes.

Am I ready? Yes.

Then I got the phone call. A shot at a job in my field. I have to take it.

It was easier when I could add up all the pain. The lifelong depression, the disconnection from relationships, the alien-like quality of being in my own body and mind, and to top it off: my career at a standstill.

It made it perfect timing to leave.

This job won’t make me happy. I already know the routine. Nothing will ever make me want to live.

But if I get this, maybe I can muddle through a little while longer for my family’s sake. They mean the world to me and I would hate to ruin them.

Now that I may not be forced into a corner, I can really think about this.

Might as well give it a go. Death will always be waiting.

 

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2 comments

Papyrus 4/11/2016 - 4:24 pm

What you’re doing is very heroic you know that? Putting your family before yourself. I can really respect that.

rocketman 4/11/2016 - 7:21 pm

fitzgerald, good idea, you never know it may change things, however jobs always stink, some people enjoy their jobs, i find that funny 99% of the time, i’m good at my job but i rather not do it, but the job is your ticket to making the time off the job better, good luck.

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