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Hi everyone

by DeadHeart

So over the past few months I think about suicide daily, this was not me a year ago.

I’m alone most of the time, besides work, I’m 30 years, I have a lot of debt… But most of all its the loneliness.

I have a nervous breakdown Friday and Saturday night regularly. I go out toto try and meet people but as the sun goes down I can feel the panic and my mood start heading down hill so I quickly head for my car and rush home.



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PhantomCitizen43 4/14/2016 - 12:40 am

Well I am glad you posted. This is a good place to vent about your issues and hopefully get some feedback that might be helpful to you. I’m sorry to hear that you have been thinking about suicide daily for some time now. I have to tell you. I know what its like. I have literally had years of my life where I had thoughts of suicide daily as well. I know its no picnic. It can be tough to talk about it to somebody in your everyday life too. Because some people don’t understand… or they will think your crazy or try to get you hospitalized. Here there are understanding people. So I am glad you posted.

Yes Loneliness can be a rough thing to deal with… because a certain amount of emotional pain comes with it. and yes Debt can be stressful too and add to ones anxiety level. But these are things that you can start taking steps to do something about these issues. It sounds to me from what you post here that you might have what they would call. a bit of Social Anxiety disorder. Meaning Your not always comfortable around people and you might seem to get a lot of anxiety when you are in certain social situations. A lot of people have these kinds of issues its not uncommon. Social interaction can be difficult to deal with at times…especially when we are young. Some people who have social anxiety issues > have so because they suffer from a bit of low self esteem. Others may have it because they just feel awkward around people and just don’t know how to act in certain social situations. I used to have some of these issues. Working on my social skills and working on my personal self esteem issues really helped me to get over it and past it. Now I can interact with people much better and you can improve too.

I did a lot of reading up on these types of subjects some years ago that really helped me out a lot. I read a lot of books that deal with issues like > how to interact with people effectively and so forth. I know it might sound cheesy for a guy to say. Well if you read some books it will help… but I am just telling you. Reading up on things like that did help me. I also read books on the subject of personal growth and also self help books and they helped me a lot to get a better perspective on myself and they boosted my self esteem and gave me better understanding of positive interaction with other people. So I am suggesting that you check out some books on these subject and give them a read. If you work on your self esteem issues and your communication skills then you will feel better around people and not have so much anxiety and then you will be able to make friends easier and that will help out with the Loneliness issue.
I am sensing that you are having a hard time being comfortable around people and might lack some social skills. Reading up on those things will help you in these areas and improve the quality of your life.

As for the Debt. Well > it would be best if you try to come up with a plan to deal with that too… because no doubt that is adding to your anxiety levels. It can be very stressful to have an accumulative debt at an early age like you… and have that hanging over your head and with creditors calling and perhaps bills piling up and your credit score going down.
I would suggest that you try to come up with a plan where you set aside a certain percentage of your income to start paying off your debts. Try to figure out where you can save some money in other areas of your life and put that extra money toward paying off the debt on a regular basis.
Try to come up with a plan for that and maybe even put it in writing and remind yourself to do this monthly. that you will commit to paying off a certain amount of your debt every month and stick to the plan.

Be patient with yourself on these issue too.. because these are issues that will take some time for you to improve upon.
You might want to check into possibly seeing a therapist if you feel that you need professional help with these issues. Some people don’t want to admit that they need professional help.. but I will tell you> it helps a lot of people. So if the suicidal thoughts and anxiety start to get overwhelming then I say you might want to go that route. If you have a health insurance plan you might want to look into seeing if there is a Psychiatrist that you could go see or a therapist.
I wish you the best with all of this.
Let us know how you are doing with all of this.

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