When I got laid off in January I quit all my psych meds except for occasional Xanax for job interviews. I thought I was finally helping myself after years of being a zombie. I was proud of myself and thought the hardest part was over. Wrong. I saw my shrink yesterday and told her I still suffer from extreme nausea and only Xanax and getting drunk makes it go away. She pointed out that my hands were also shaking. She then pointed out the obvious that I have been in denial of. I’m an alcoholic and when my body isn’t drunk or medicated I now get physically ill. So today starts day one of my sobriety. Another uphill battle for me to fight just when I thought the worst fighting was over. I really don’t know how to face the empty void that is my life sober. My life is a wasteland and I have no reasons to live never mind struggle with this one. I wish to God I had a better method so I could escape. I’m scared, lonely, afraid, nauseous. Well I’ll stop rambling now. I had to type this twice because the first version got deleted and now I am tired. I hope everyone out there in SP land has a good day. I’m thankful that this sight exists so at least we have a place to express our fears.