The pain is still here. I can drown it out. I can muffle it. But I’m just a shell of a person wandering around. Withdrawn to where it feels more than awkward to be out and around people when it wasn’t so before. Opening back up on command isn’t as easy as shutting down anymore. Desire to end things lingers as well and always has. Thoughts of such are being provoked more often than not now. What do you do when you feel that you have more reason to leave than to stay? Given life more than a chance just existing for the past 2 years. It is exactly as I suspected it to be now from back then when I wanted to and decided to pull the trigger. Why go on anymore?
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3 comments
I for one will end it when I find the money to do what I want to do. But not now, and not with a knife I am still not that desperate.
You have given chances…You’re not alone. You’ve given them too many chances. Don’t be fooled it will never get better look at the world around you and realize. I am not telling you to pull the trigger though..that is only up to every one of us. I wouldn’t do it with a gun unless i’m very desperate – too violent.
Perhaps I have…..I know I’m not alone. Thank you.