Hurting others

I know, i know…this is a rather touchy subject. The fact of you leaving will hurt many people.

Lets just be clear, i am not suggesting or supporting that anyone leave this world, simply stating an opinion anyone may think on.

So your there, in that moment, yes you know the one. And all you can see is you hurting people if you left. Which is true. You will. Theres no doubt in my mind of that. But lets..just…step back moment from thinking about that.

Lets talk about me. I’ll be the genii pig in this example. If i were to leave. Right now..i would hurt lots of people. Yes..because there are people in this world that in some way or another care about us. In some way..any way. But honestly. That doesn’t bother me. Even if that seems shallow. It doesn’t.

The reason why is. Look at me. From a third person view in space. I’m in pain. Deep pain. Relentless pain. Pain that i fear, will never leave me. My life is in shambles. My heart torn into a million pieces, my soul..looking as dead as it ever has. Just barely a spec of light left in it. My body, feels as if i am a trillion years old. I’m not even functional in reality anymore. Just a broken man, barely scraping by.

The saddest thing is, no one knows how bad i am. How close to the edge i am. Leaning off just on the verge of losing my balance. Just. Waiting. Hoping. Direly hoping something will come along and push me over the edge. My loved ones especially dont know this. Maybe a friend or two had an idea. But all of you, are truly the first to see this.

So i know. You all get it. Im bad. No need to stand on a box and say poor me. For the record im not looking for sympathy. Simply understanding. Acknowledgement of where i stand. And i must say. As selfish as it seems, how people feel. Is the last concern on my mind. Because if they knew…if they really knew, if i took their hand and shared every emotion i feel, they would see it too. They would drop their fear of losing me. They would see. That i really am better off in the next life..whatever that may be. Its not being selfish folks. Its called standing up for who you are, and whats really best for you. And alot of people its best to stay, but every now and then theres one of us who just doesn’t fit. Who is an alien to the very world they inhabit. And they were so very gracefully given this life, then i think its their right to decide their own fate. Whatever that may be, for better or worse. Just don’t let your surrounding influence your decision. Sure it takes its toll and does impact you, but what im saying is in that moment where you have the urge to leave. Really think about it. Don’t fall the the fate of sheer impulse. Let yourself search, search high above this crazy world. And you sir ladies will find your answer..just as i have.

Don’t fall to the reaches of fear, pity, or shame..rise to the powers of knowledge, willingness, and most of all pure common sense, and we shall all go far beyond the roller coaster of life ??