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I hate my life

by Deadboy

Well it all started when i was about 7 my mom went to jail for lust and i started getting into pot at 12 but aroung that time i got caught shoplifting which put me through hell then a bne (breaking an entering) then it keeps getting worse. I have a scare on my back from when i was abused at the age of 5 but that bothers me no more last year i got knocked out from a choke hold by my dad then a couple days after that i got caught smoking pot on school grounds then i moved in with my sisters but after a few months i forgave my dad and now court is making me choose who to live with but thats not the worst part. I fell in love with a girl that was 13 and im 16. Is it wrong for a 16 year old boy to be with a 13 year old girl she was born in 2002 and me 2000? Anyway but some one called the cops on us for sopposedly doing sexual things behind a bowling ally and thats when i wanted to die!!! its been a week sence it happened but i cant get this feeling out i want to feel that scar on my back get remade i really wanted to kill myself when i seen her scared and tears rolling down her face as she sat in the cop car ive already cut my wrist and already had opprotunitys to end it all but i was a cowered but all i can think about is her and not knowing if she cut herself again aswell makes me more and more scared i know it sounds hippicritical or how ever that word is spelled but i told her to promis not to and putting her through that killed me inside i do t know what to do but feel like i must die so i dont go through future pain but i love her and she dosnt need that too i dont know what to do im so scared right now and i dont wanna fuck up anymore i just want it all to end every nigh i hope that some one breaks into my home and kills me!!!!! Im so sick of living

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kupo95 4/11/2016 - 2:28 am

Im sorry to here your lost and in the pain . im here if you wanna talk . or if you need some clarity idk if I can help but I will like to try. 🙂

Lawli 4/11/2016 - 6:44 am

Your still young enough to change, you have to be strong for her and for everything you love. Just have hope. It’s not going to be easy but you can’t give up, both for your future and for hers. You must find some way and don’t think it’s impossible either because there’s always something you can do, have faith in yourself, be true to yourself that’s all you really need to do and you will work the rest out. Good luck, promise yourself you will make things right.

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