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I need something good to happen in my life.

by DarkTide

I am really have a tough time. I have no one around me. Everyday feels like it is a war I am fighting, I am losing. I look around amd there is nothing good in my life. I cant see beauty anymore. Last night I was ready, I had the energy to go and kill myself but I held on for the slight hope something good may happen today. I need something good in my life right now… it needs to be a game changer. If I dont have it by tonight I will kill myself.

For those of you who wanted my name it is Alec.

Enjoy your day.

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BlueEyes 4/13/2016 - 11:36 am

Something good might not happen today, but it will eventually. It’s the simply law of probability.
And those good things come along when you least expect them.
And they are found in the strangest places.
But you have to keep an eye out for it and sometimes find “good” where you can.

Last summer I was in a VERY dark place emotionally, so I went for a walk at night. In the street, I saw something small thrashing around in a puddle… “what the hell is that?” As I got closer I saw it was a baby owl taking a bath in the puddle.
We stared at each other for a few seconds then it flew off.
Was it life-changing? No. But it was really cool. And for those few seconds it made me happy and realize there’s more to the world than people, and while I may not fit in with people, I’ll always fit in with nature. Nature doesn’t give a shit – it’s just trying to survive, just like me.
In that sense, I DO fit in with the “world”.

Crazy little owl, taking a bath in a puddle in the road… just taking care of his shit.

Hang in there Alec, there’s a lot of stuff to be discovered still. You’ve got the kind heart and sensitivity to recognize it when it happens. And it’ll be so cool. You’ll meet crazy owls and kind people. Just be open to the experiences.

My name is Nan btw.

headupunderdarkcloud 4/13/2016 - 7:06 pm

Sorry I didn’t see this sooner (have been off the site a couple days), but I know you have so much to live for. It’s so easy for our internal thoughts to get stuck on examining everything we feel is going wrong, and I am sooooo guilty of this. But something that has always kept me going is knowing how young I still was, still with multiple chances to find meaning and purpose, and quite frankly, looking good while doing it. And I know it can sound incredibly vain, but the nature of this beast’s world is if you’re attractive, there’s more opportunity. Have watched my looks wain over the past year, and has made it harder to pull out of my funk, but I know you’re still young, with a full head of hair! And oh my god I miss having my full head of hair!! It didn’t seem like much at the time, but it’s such an asset. Try to be easier on yourself, give yourself a break. Try to realize what you have, (youth) so many are so envious and willingly spend billions trying to recapture.

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