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I wanna watch the world bleed….

by noneedforaname

Another all niter, who needs sleep right, I can rest when I die. I hate being alone with my thoughts, they remind just how much I hate this life, how much I wanna see the world bleed. How much I despise 5 little words. “I know how you feel ” NO YOU DONT or you would know how much your fake and hollow words piss me off. What ever happened to loyalty, or morals, or honesty ??? Why is common sense not so common anymore ??? The worst part is that I come here and vent and get more understanding and sincerity from complete strangers, and absolutely appreciate all the sincere words and support here, but I find it pathetic that the world that I’m a part of, family and friends ( that’s a fuckin laugh ) could give two shakes of a fat rat’s ass about the things going on in someone else’s life, well I officially ran outta ” give a fuck’s ” today. Maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m over reacting but I have some pretty selfish people in my life. Seems like when you’re up everybody comes out of the woodwork, when you’re down you hear crickets. It’s truly amazing what you have to go through before you find out who you can count on in your life. Oh well, like Moms used to say, ” such is life ”

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11 comments

Soco 4/25/2016 - 4:32 pm

Such is life.. well… it still baffles me and im almost 40. !! I reckon I have had about 3 in my entire life that get it. Joined this site 4 days ago and have had more support than ever. I donr know what to say but…. fuck everyone else. Look out for u and hold on to what makes u smile. Even if its a song, painting, poem or website. Hope it gets better for u.

noneedforaname 4/25/2016 - 6:28 pm

Thanks, I’m 47 myself, and I get it, people come and people go, and of all of them I found two solid brother’s that I can count on, but how much shit can you pile on someone else’s plate, that’s what I love about this site, I don’t have to feel like I’m always going to them to vent, and can do some of it here now lol

newdanny21 4/25/2016 - 6:25 pm

Noone knows what us SP users go through (constant thoughts about suicide, possible cutting, etc)…. I agree it completely irritates me when someone tries to empathize with me, I think to myself “until they go a week straight spending more time thinking about dying than they do sleeping, they can not speak to me.”

noneedforaname 4/25/2016 - 6:31 pm

It wouldn’t be so bad if they just meant what they say, because if you truly know me, you should have some idea of my condition, it like solid words land on deaf ears, and hollow words land on listening ears and it should be the other way around

Cordless 4/25/2016 - 6:54 pm

Yes!
I imagine we all have people in our lives that could use a good smack around the ears.
I’d never actually do it but I can still daydream. 😉

I agree that the phrase “I know how you feel” is kind of a double-edged sword.
When I say it, I mean something like this:

“I have felt that emotion too, even though there’s no way I could ever fully understand your current circumstances.”

If, for example, you’re telling us how much someone completely pissed you off, and I say
“I know how you feel,”….
I mean:
“I’ve been completely pissed off at people too, so I understand the anger. Let’s be frustrated together.”
I would never imply that I know *exactly* what you’re going through, because I have no clue, and neither does anyone else.

Bottom line: Please don’t kill me or hurt me if I accidentally say the wrong thing. I am fragile. 🙂

Cordless 4/25/2016 - 6:57 pm

P.S. I didn’t realize how many of us were in our 40’s. I’m 46 myself. Some days it seems like the whole site is teenagers. (Nothing against teenagers). Although depression is equal-opportunity, different age groups tend to have different sorts of problems.

noneedforaname 4/25/2016 - 8:06 pm

Lol, yeah I’ve noticed that there’s a few people our age, and I wouldn’t say fragile you know Damn good and well you’re tough, I just remember that there used to be honor among thieves, ya know ??? If you got into a bar fight you came back in and bought each other a beer, a man’s word and a hand shake were all you needed, this world is just so fake, I don’t know how to go about things anymore, how can you form any kind of friendship or relationship when you can’t trust anyone or believe anything that anyone says ??? I don’t know, I just so angry whenever I take a good look around sometimes

Cordless 4/25/2016 - 8:36 pm

Yes, the world is different now and it is filled with a higher percentage of jerks.

I know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL! 😀

(*starts to laugh, then cringes and ducks behind furniture*)
Joking! Only joking!

noneedforaname 4/26/2016 - 1:29 am

Lmao, ok, you got me. You can come out from behind the couch now.

Cordless 4/26/2016 - 1:32 am

🙂

noneedforaname 4/26/2016 - 2:47 am

Thank you cordless, that’s exactly what I’m talking about, It’s the little things like making me laugh, no matter how insignificant it may seem to someone else, it meant the world to me

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