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I wish I were dead

by disgusting

I’ve seriously had to think about jumping or hanging myself at work or jumping in front of a train because this is such bullshit and I’m getting abused on top of it. My job’s become unbearable because of the coworker who’s decided to have a problem with me and trying to get rid of me. Well yeah it’s fucking working. She’s been lying and complaining about me to the boss saying I stink, that I’ve filled the coffee pot with my coffee mug that I drank out of, that I fart and burp the whole day at work, and that I don’t shower and smell like shit. And she’s done this incessantly for the last couple of months and she got in my face Friday and accused me of bringing diseases in there and trying to get her sick on purpose, and said that I opened the window all the way (no like 2-3 inches isn’t all the way) to make her sick  on purpose (I was having a hot flash), and accused me of coughing over top of her when we sit like 15 feet apart at opposite ends of the office and I hadn’t even coughed at all at that point. Then the boss had a videoconference with us for like 3 hours, and things got even worse. I was basically told that everything is my fault and I need to better my health so that I don’t have hot flashes or any other problems that would disturb others and I need to appease my coworker. Because, get this. Something was said that was something along the lines of, that white people who work in an office with black people just don’t realize that everything we do and say is malicious towards them and said and done to make the black people feel like they’re less than. And that’s really hurt me and shocked me because that was like the last thing I ever expected to hear, first of all, because I don’t treat people badly and if anything I bend over backwards way too fucking much for every god damn person on earth, and I sure as fuck know my place on earth is to be below all 7.8billion other people on earth and that I rank ABSOLUTELY LAST in this world so I don’t understand how in the fuck I have an ego problem and am demeaning anyone?!? So the only way I can fucking process that at all is that I’m always in the wrong and I’m always going to be SHIT because I’m white. Well fuck! How the fuck am I supposed to react to that?!?! So now I feel like it’s a hostile work environment and I want nothing more than to get the fuck out. I WISH I could fucking quit, but my 1st job doesn’t even cover the rent I agreed to pay, so it’s not possible to just quit. I don’t have the fancy clothes let alone master’s degree or 15 yrs experience to get any of the “entry level” jobs out there not even customer service or data entry will take me unless I were 25 or younger and just got my master’s degree but also had 15 years paid work experience to claim. And something else was said that really hurt me too. This comes from having posted on Facebook about how bad my situation is now because I could literally end up in prison over having fucking worked for the first time in my life, so yeah, fuck my again for trying to get my head above water! But from both jobs I owe a shit ton in taxes. Because it really is that my first job is so few hours that I don’t make enough to have any tax taken out so I owe that all in one lump sum and then I owe half of what I made through the 2nd job as self employment tax when we were told to not worry because our bosses made $26k & $38k as self employed and didn’t owe a dime of tax so rest assured we’re not going to owe a penny of the $3k we will make. Well that’s fucking bullshit because I owe $1200 and the government can charge me nearly $300 more just for being low income. And I have no way to do anything about it because the people who did my taxes told me it would be simple to sign up online for a payment plan and the IRS site locks me out every time and won’t let me sign up which means I can only fucking wait for the government to come after me!!!! I WISH THEY’D FUCKING COME AFTER ME AND KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m disabled, marginally & by the skin of my teeth a hair above being homeless, and THIS is the shit I get for trying to WORK MY ASS OFF to get to a better place in life?!?!? SO what was said was that my boss said I was causing problems because I’m “upset that I have to pay a bill” which makes me feel belittled by my boss and really like I’ve been duped and used. I WANT OUT!!! But yeah I can’t quit. Then they both – my boss and coworker got into a little conversation about how (coworker) “Oh I don’t need this job, this isn’t the end all be all, this is just a stepping stone” and (boss) “Yes this place is just supposed to be a stepping stone and was never meant to be a full time job”. But my coworker is a lying ***** who called me a liar when I tried to tell the truth on her and tell my boss that she doesn’t do shit but talk on the phone, take selfies, play games on her ipad, and blare music in her ears and she gets paid to fucking do that?!? But in the end I’m ultimately wrong and I’m the liar so whatever the **** says about me to my boss, my boss is going to believe and take her side. There’s no fucking sense in this shit, being in debt and in danger of going to prison over having two jobs that only add up to 20 hrs of paid time a week and to be lied about constantly and have my coworker in my face yelling and screaming and being hostile and violent towards me while I’m trying to work!!! Tell me how the fuck is this right?!?! I wish I had the guts to jump out the window. You think someone who’s 360 lbs would die from an 8 story jump? If the building were right over a body of water I could do it, but I’m too much of a ***** to jump to concrete. I could hang myself in the stairwell maybe but I’ve read too much about how fat people can’t hang themselves either. I could just as well in the basement where I’m living which would be really hard to do considering that I’m 5’5″ and my head nearly touches the ceiling. But it is a place with solid support beams that I could access and lock the door from the inside, to which no one here has a key, and be able to kill myself overnight sometime if I had the way to do it. I’m so fucking sick of this shit!!!!!!


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Hazy Day Sunflower 4/10/2016 - 2:53 pm

Hey disgusting. Haven’t heard from you in a while. You know you could file a claim against your employer for a hostile work environment. It is against the law for them to comment on your health or imply that you need to fix yourself to remain employed. You should look into that.

I don’t know where you live but maybe you should relocated. There are lots of places in the USA you don’t need a masters and 10 years of work experience to make decent money and support yourself. The IRS can put you on a payment plan.

disgusting 4/10/2016 - 3:26 pm

Yeah if I apply for a payment plan online, which the site own’t let me do. I don’t know where I could go, with no money, and still be allowed to live as male (and not get female put back on my ID because my birth certificate says female) and stay on testosterone. Believe me, I want out of the 2nd job. But since we’re “self employed” at this job (1099) I’m guessing we don’t have legal protections as employees.

distant.road 4/10/2016 - 3:43 pm

If you owe taxes, call the IRS on the phone. They are often willing to work with you. It’s in nobody’s interest, including the government’s, for you to be broke, homeless, unable to eat, etc. If the government doesn’t know about your situation, they can’t work with you. If you don’t contact them, then they might begin collection action. Wage garnishment, money intercepts, etc…. Call them.

IRS Tax Help Line for Individuals

National Taxpayer Advocate’s Help Line

As for customer service and data entry jobs, get in touch with a Temorary Staffing agency. If your keystroke and accuracy rates are pretty good, you have a good chance of being assigned to a job… perhaps Temp-to-Hire depending on the assignment.

disgusting 4/10/2016 - 4:12 pm

And someone here said the most they can take is 30% of your pay that they can’t take your entire paycheck. If they take my entire paycheck I will be homeless for sure!

distant.road 4/10/2016 - 4:20 pm

It could be MUCH MORE than 30%… The IRS isn’t subject to normal garnishment limitations.

There are a few factors, including the amount owed, which are part of the calculation. If you call them and work out a payment plan, you could avoid that problem. Use the phone numbers above to call them. Don’t procrastinate.

See below.


How much the IRS can garnish

When the IRS moves forward with your wage garnishment, your employer has no choice but to comply with the IRS and remit a portion of your wages to the agency to pay your tax bill. The IRS has more garnishment power than ordinary creditors insofar as it is not subject to the state and federal garnishment limitations, which means it can leave you with very little money each week to live on.

During 2015 for example, a single parent with two children who files as head of household can be left with as little as $409 per week. This means that if you earn $1,000 per week, the IRS takes $591 of it, and if you earn $2,000 per week, it can take $1,591. However, the amount of your garnishment will depend on how much tax you owe.

disgusting 4/10/2016 - 4:22 pm

I earn $150 a week what are they going to do take it all and make me homeless?????

distant.road 4/10/2016 - 4:31 pm

Call them. We could speculate and speculate about what they’d do. If you ignore the problem, they’re going to get their money… and/or wreck your credit. I’m not sure how much a current or future employer would appreciate being ordered to pay the IRS. It could be harder to get an apartment with wrecked credit. If you’re expecting any other money from Uncle Sam, it could get intercepted.

I’m not trying to overstate the problem… However, $150 a week or not, it’s not worth battling the IRS.

disgusting 4/10/2016 - 4:34 pm

My credit is already wrecked because I had credit cards stolen after I lost my home. I can’t get an apartment or even a bank account. I’ve been homeless more than I’ve had a place to stay for as long as I’ve been alive. But now that I’m disabled I can’t physically handle being homeless. I’ll just fucking kill myself. The IRS site won’t let me sign up.

distant.road 4/10/2016 - 5:11 pm

The IRS site probably won’t let you sign up because the process might involve some active two-way communication. There’s no need to become homeless again… But you’re not helping yourself unless you call them.

As for being homeless, I’m currently homeless. I’ve been homeless before this… and I understand the challenges.

disgusting 4/10/2016 - 5:20 pm

I plan to call. I couldn’t find a number before. I don’t know why the site won’t let me sign up. It would take one full month of my wages at 100% of my pay to pay off my debt, if they can take what I get from W2 job and my 1099 job that is payed not through a payroll but is an electronic transfer between the business’s bank account to my prepaid debit account.

distant.road 4/10/2016 - 5:40 pm

I doubt at your salary level that they’d demand payment in a month. Again, it’s in nobody’s interest for you to be homeless.

The method that you’re paid has no relevancy to the garnishment process. Whether it’s direct deposited to a bank account, sent to a prepaid card, or mailed as a paper check… money can be garnished before it reaches you.

I doubt it’ll be as bad as you think. They don’t want you to become homeless. All they want, at the end of the day, is a solution to be reached regarding what you might owe.

Look up ‘Fresh Start Initiative’ on the IRS website. There are a few options there that might apply to your situation.

disgusting 4/10/2016 - 7:00 pm

Yeah but at my salary level, taking 75%, 80%, 90% of my pay either won’t help me stay housed. If I don’t get $200 a week I can’t meet my rent agreement. If I don’t have another $30 I can’t get to work because I’m not able bodied enough to walk 2 blocks let alone 10 miles to the office and 10 miles home.

distant.road 4/10/2016 - 7:20 pm

Google ‘Fresh Start Initiative’

Don’t imagine doomsday when it probably won’t happen.

Re-read what I wrote about nobody wanting you homeless.

Re-read what I wrote expressing doubt about a super-short payment plan.

Catch your breath.

Then call the IRS.

distant.road 4/10/2016 - 7:23 pm

Make sure you read about ‘Fresh Start Initiative’ on the IRS website. Plenty of private companies would love to charge you for it. Save your money. Get the info directly from the IRS.

distant.road 4/10/2016 - 7:33 pm

Here’s some info… There’s probably more recent info available but this gives the general idea:


distant.road 4/10/2016 - 7:34 pm

I have a comment with an IRS link in the moderation queue. You should be able to see it.

disgusting 4/11/2016 - 8:54 am

I can’t call anyone, the system hangs up on me, there’s no support from the local office, message says the local office does not handle tax questions, there’s no way for me to contact the IRS so I guess I’m going to lose every dime I make and be homeless with nothing!!!!

rocketman 4/10/2016 - 4:26 pm

Unfortunately people in this world can be very cruel and intolerable about things they do not understand. Do they know that you were born female? Do you consider yourself transgender? This hate that your coworker has for you might just be related to that. In 2016 you would like to think that people are more accepting of alternative lifestyles, but there is still a lot of ignorance out there. It is illegal what they are doing to you. You are going to have to learn to fight back if you choose to stay employed there. It is not going to get better with time. I would look into the laws for your state. Call an attorney to see what your options are. Most will give you a free consultation. Sincerely Rocketman. Wish you the best of luck.

disgusting 4/10/2016 - 4:30 pm

It’s a place for trans people, but yeah I’m not as important as a trans person because I’m white and trans male.

whiskered-fish 4/10/2016 - 8:07 pm

I think you’re important. Fck what they say.

disgusting 4/11/2016 - 9:34 am

Well I FINALLY got through, after trying several options, to someone that has helped me out. I agreed to an extension to attempt to pay it by August.

distant.road 4/11/2016 - 12:52 pm

Taxes are due one week from today. They’re due on April 18th this year because of a Saturday holiday in Washington, DC that’s observed on Friday the 15th. Undoubtedly, with one week to go, call volumes are high.

I’m glad that you received the extension. That is very good news.

Take a deep breath. 🙂

disgusting 4/11/2016 - 1:22 pm

I doubt I’ll make it. It would be VERY hard to set aside $50 a week, to make $200/mo, when it would take $260/mo to cover the bill now.

distant.road 4/11/2016 - 3:38 pm

If your budget turns out to be stretched too thin, then call them back.

Unless it happens, there’s no need to keep coming up with doomsday scenarios. You can control much of this situation… The IRS will work with you if you stay in contact. Stay in contact. These doomsday scenarios will keep getting in the way if you keep coming up with them.

The situation appears to be resolved at this moment. Continued negativity about it isn’t your friend.

disgusting 4/11/2016 - 8:22 pm

This doesn’t account for the $200 I owe the state. I’m afraid I’m on the verge of losing both my jobs too. One because of my coworker acting the way she is and knowing she’s the favorite for sure, and then my boss from my other job says out of the blue that he doesn’t want to give me more work because I can’t communicate well enough.

distant.road 4/11/2016 - 8:39 pm

I think you’ll make a doomsday scenario regardless of whatever happens. There is a risk, my friend, of you becoming your own worst enemy.

disgusting 4/11/2016 - 8:24 pm

And after shopping, I fear it will be a choice between eating and paying the gov. I can’t get food stamps but the people I rent from who work full time get $189/mo each. But if you work part time they won’t give you jack shit.

distant.road 4/11/2016 - 8:40 pm

Have you applied? If not, you might not know. Hearsay and Google searches might not provide the correct answer.

distant.road 4/11/2016 - 8:47 pm

You are in control here.

You can:

Call the IRS

Call your state’s taxation authority

Call about food stamps

Call about energy assistance.

Call about housing assistance.

Find local food pantries.

Constantly seek a new job without complaining that you can’t get hired.

Check, adjust, and recheck your monthly budget. Non-necessities should be considered for elimination.

Contact your community’s Social Services agency to learn about resources you might not know about.

etc. etc. etc.

Doing the above would help your situation… and would be better than distracting doomsday scenarios.

disgusting 4/11/2016 - 10:02 pm

Of course I’ve applied, and got zero response at all. I got food stamps when I came here homeless and unemployed, but it ended because I got a part time job. The people I rent from make far more than I could dream of and get the same benefits a homeless person without a job gets. But in the middle, no chance in hell. And I do look for jobs, I get told I have no education or experience. An associate’s and 1 yr of work history isn’t close to what they want.

disgusting 4/11/2016 - 10:04 pm

Well I finally found the state tax place, I think. Why do I have to google something 100 times before a logical result comes up???

Hazy Day Sunflower 4/11/2016 - 10:12 pm

are you sure you’re not using Yahoo!

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