I should be feeling something better than this. Just a few weeks away from getting that god forsaken undergraduate degree-in psychology no less. Registered for classes in the fall getting, a Masters in social work, I think. I don’t know what I want though. It is so anti-climactic. I feel pretty numb most the time because I am stuffing those feelings until after finals. My therapist mentioned self-sabotage last week, he kind of took it back this week though. Bought a house. Living alone, trying not to isolate, helps that my sister lives across the street. Honest though, I feel restless. Like I am waiting to do battle, reigning in the troops. Something big is in the forecast, I don’t know what but I know it will destroy the me I am today. Haven’t smoked a friggin cigarette in 5 days… Quitting for a project in my applied behavioral analysis class. For now I will keep sleeping because I have to wait for it. Wait.