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Live fast, die young, and leave a good lookin corpse.

by noneedforaname

Live fast, die young, and leave a good lookin corpse. That’s the way we always lived our lives growing up, some of us succeeded, some of us ( like myself ) didn’t. Oh I lived fast, ( still am ) but I didn’t die young, and let’s face it, the GOOD lookin corpse things went right out the window years ago. I grew up and still live in Detroit. Growing up we didn’t have anything but that didn’t matter cause we really didn’t need anything, hell there was no such thing as cable, or video games, we had hot wheels, the girls had their Barbie’s , and our imagination. But from a early age I’ve experienced death, kids in grade school, friends in high school, the first time I witnessed a death first hand I was 15 and came out of the pool hall and some guy stared at me and a friend of mine and then proceeded to pull out a gun and gave himself a new set of holes in his head, and as a few of you know here I ride with a M/ C so I’ve seen more than my share of friends die in the Biker world, starting in 2001 until present I have lost my wife, my father, my mother, two really close cousins, my son, a friend of the family that I raised as a son, a granddaughter, a nephew to heroin overdose in my home, and just recently a grandson. So like I said I’ve always dealt with death differently than everybody else, almost to the point of being cold to it , or to be quite honest, un- phased by it. But now I’m alone most of the time, unless I am out runnin and partyin. And all of these things are coming back to me now, almost teasing me, I swear I see things in the dark, or I think I hear something, but nothing is there. I’m not afraid of anything as far as I’m concerned the only permanent thing you could do to me is kill me, and I’m not afraid to die. But it does bother me in the sense that it’s happening now, now that I’ve lost everything including my job, and my home. I haven’t been the best person in the world but I’m far from the worst. Am I being punished for something I did a long time ago ??? And if so why not everything all at once, why spread it out over a 15 year span ultimately ending with me losing everything including my pride ??? I’m just venting again causing writing down my thoughts and the questions that I have at any given time and being able to read through it is well therapeutic to me in a sense. But I think I’m now.


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justbecause 4/27/2016 - 12:41 am

I was born and raised in Detroit too. I’ll bet we’re close to the same age. One thing I used to think of us Detroitors is we’re a gritty bunch. You can knock us down. You can kick us while we’re down, but as soon as you’ve turned you’re back on us and counted us out you’re in trouble. We’re going to get up and kick your ass. The unfortunate thing I’ve learned lately is that even Detroitors can only take so much. Even we have our breaking point. I don’t know if you’re being punished or not. I’ve been asking myself that same question. Before I could always carry on because I had hope. Right now I have no hope or believe that there is any future worth living for, so I can understand what you’re saying. I’m sorry, I don’t have an answer.

noneedforaname 4/27/2016 - 6:20 am

Hey just because, You’re from Detroit so let me begin by saying ” What Up ” I replied to cordless first, ( read some of her posts ) the woman is a rock, and with everything she has going on she’s always the first with a kind word. This stuff that happens to some people is terrible and I definitely don’t take anybody else’s problems lightly, but I have learned something’s through all this and I try to share it, at even at the end of the day no matter what I’ve been through, I stay hopeful, it’s all I have left to hold on to, don’t ever lose your hope, because I’m willing to bet if you really think about it, you have stuff to be hopeful for too, we all do, I thank you for the kind words and to be honest, I stumbled across this site and the kind words here give me hope, let them give you hope too

Cordless 4/27/2016 - 1:25 am

I can’t imagine seeing that much death and being able to talk abut it so calmly.

You are very strong.
I admire that.

I wouldn’t be able to stay calm and strong if I had lost that many loved ones.

noneedforaname 4/27/2016 - 6:10 am

Unfortunately cordless I don’t have any choice, when I lost my son I’d have to say that was the worst, he was 21, my oldest son, my namesake, my road dawg lol. And it’s his death that hurts the most, don’t get me wrong, they all hurt, but none like his, you know I’ve been shot 3 times, stabbed 2, I’ve been beat with things nobody should be beat with, and nothing compared to that pain, and now it’s starting to flood back over me. I’m just having a hard time understanding I guess

Cordless 4/27/2016 - 6:38 am

What terrible tragedies.
So much grief and suffering.

I’m so sorry we live in a world where things like this happen.

noneedforaname 4/27/2016 - 1:56 pm

Well they say at the end of this journey we start a new one, free of pain and suffering, no more pain or tears. Let’s just hope that’ll be our time to shine

jadedkeizy 4/27/2016 - 4:11 pm

You are a hardcore gangsta ( in a good way). Reading this, I muttered to myself, you’re ***** Kay. I don’t think I’d still be alive if I’d gone through all that you’ve gone through. You are strong. I am only 30 but fed up and tired already. I haven’t even lived fast man.

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