I am so disappointed in myself… last week I finally seemed to get a grip on my Psyche but nope.
This morning the voices and the doubts and the fear crashed back into my consious like a Bulldozer with airhorns.
The laughter, taunting and insults returned blarring in my head… it is so loud. I can’t eat or drink, I get sick from it.
Thanks to this I tried on a large plastic bag to see if it was suitable and to remove any anxiety once I hopefully get the strenght to fucking end this shit.
Talking with friends pushes them away each time. Shit, I lost a promising relationship over this because they had enough of my “Problems”.
Can’t stay home on sickleave either. It is not a real Problem in the eyes of many… I just have to endure it like everyone else.