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Losing grip yet again

by Blood_Lotus

I am so disappointed in myself… last week I finally seemed to get a grip on my Psyche but nope.

This morning the voices and the doubts and the fear crashed back into my consious like a Bulldozer with airhorns.

The laughter, taunting and insults returned blarring in my head… it is so loud. I can’t eat or drink, I get sick from it.

Thanks to this I tried on a large plastic bag to see if it was suitable and to remove any anxiety once I hopefully get the strenght to fucking end this shit.

Talking with friends pushes them away each time. Shit, I lost a promising relationship over this because they had enough of my “Problems”.

Can’t stay home on sickleave either. It is not a real Problem in the eyes of many… I just have to endure it like everyone else.

 

 

 

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2 comments

distant.road 4/5/2016 - 6:08 am

Dealing with this stuff is a challenging road. Just when we think that we have it in check, it reminds us that we don’t. That doesn’t mean that we should stop trying. Are you receiving professional help?

Blood_Lotus 4/5/2016 - 6:20 am

Yes I do. But it doesn’t seem to help me very much. I tried anti-depressants for a few months but they either don’t do anything or the sideeffects make me feel even worse.

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