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morning begins f#cking great

by Lacalamity

Went to the shop to get milk and some alcohol, to make some pudding and drown my sorrows. Got me some vine but I see that I can’t f#cking open it.

Besides that I just wanna f#cking die since a month. I really don’T want therapy, I don’t want to feel happiness, I enjoy my pass-time activities but I am not happy, even when I had my first girlfriend I was apathetic and didn’t feel anything.

Every time I am at my parents house, the gun locker laughs at me, I could just end it all, go to the forest and bang.

 

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whisper 4/28/2016 - 7:51 am

I know this sounds lame but its true so I’ll say it…if you leave the booze alone for a few months you might be surprised to find you care again about things you thought you wouldn’t. Depression tends to improve and so does the optimism.

It took me years to figure that out, and many barrels of vodka, but I discovered when I got far enough away from booze, and stopped listening to the sad songs that I love so much…that my outlook and happiness improved…almost against my wishes and despite me.

Best of luck my friend. 🙂

Lacalamity 4/28/2016 - 8:12 am

jokes on me, this bottle of vine is the first one I bought, never had any booze by myself or in a regular manner

whisper 4/28/2016 - 8:23 am

Drinking alone can become a terrible habit that eventually cuts us off from the world. My brother did that, and eventually hung himself. Sucked.

Another lame thing to point out? We have been convinced by the liquor companies…and society, that…we should want to drink when something good happens so we can ‘celebrate’…and also to ‘drown our sorrows’ when things go bad. So either way we are encouraged to drink…when we are happy or sad.

I’ve watched booze ruin so many lives, more than all the drugs out there combined. Ironic that it’s legal. I hate the stuff, but I also have learned to stay away from it most of the time and then allow myself to get plastered a couple of times a year. That way it doesn’t make me crawl in a hole and pickle myself, turning off the world. Hate it, but love it…as long as I control it and don’t let it control me. 🙂

Soco 4/28/2016 - 8:40 am

Thats so true what u say whispers. Alcohol is shit. I turned heavily to drugs which ultimately didnt help.

My biggest problem (besides drugs, mental illness) is def listening to sad songs. I love em. They break my heart and jump on it. I need to get that under control.

barelyalive_dead_inside 4/28/2016 - 8:48 am

I know ur feeling bro… Being dead inside is worse bcoz ppl won’t realize about it and no one can help… I myself have tried to commit suicide… Just stay away from alcohol… You won’t know what you’re doing when you’re drunk… Hope you get better soon…

Lacalamity 4/29/2016 - 4:42 am

thanks man

whisper 4/28/2016 - 8:54 am

I’m a trained expert when it comes to sad songs. I probably know thousands of them. At times in life, when the heart was baldly broken, I crawled in a bottle and camped in front of the stereo, alone. And listened to and sang sad songs until I passed out. (I even have one on Youtube, lol, but my voice was ruined by then, lol) I see people put tunes here so I’ll post it just for grins… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e54wEmu6pjE&feature=youtu.be

Eventually, I knew the booze had to stop because there was no chance of happiness and a good relationship, drunk. So I stopped it. But it took me many more years to realize that sad songs…make us sad! Duh? As much as I love them, I learned to stop listening to them and surprise, surprise, I had less sadness and depression.

I still love the sad songs, and the occasional booze, but I learned to do both rarely and life slowly…improved. 🙂

I went threw all the drugs too…but I spent so many years in a deep dark hole that I eventually decided I had to take control of my life, no one else would, and start forcing myself to break my bad habits. I haven’t joined a convent yet but for the most part I am more well behaved now. No drugs, rarely alcohol and only do sad songs every few months.

All those things helped me greatly to improve life, find a nice relationship (though it didn’t last) and I can now even look forward to nice things in life accidentally happening to me…not just that bad stuff. 🙂

whisper 4/28/2016 - 9:04 am

I’m a trained expert when it comes to sad songs. I probably know thousands of them. At times in life, when the heart was baldly broken, I crawled in a bottle and camped in front of the stereo, alone. And listened to the sad songs until I passed out. (oops…had to remove link, I think, because this site doesn’t allow them?)…

Eventually, I knew the booze had to stop because there was no chance of happiness and a good relationship, drunk. So I stopped it. But it took me many more years to realize that sad songs…make us sad! Duh? As much as I love them, I learned to stop listening to them and surprise, surprise, I had less sadness and depression.

I still love the sad songs, and the occasional booze, but I learned to do both rarely and life slowly…improved. ?

I went threw all the drugs too…but I spent so many years in a deep dark hole that I eventually decided I had to take control of my life, no one else would, and start forcing myself to break my bad habits. I haven’t joined a convent yet but for the most part I am more well behaved now. No drugs, rarely alcohol and only do sad songs every few months.

All those things helped me greatly to improve life, find a nice relationship (though it didn’t last) and I can now even look forward to nice things in life accidentally happening to me…not just that bad stuff. ?

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