It’s so hard to write about this. U’ll be the first people who will know the truth about me even though you even don’t know my real name.
So…When my mom was pregnant, it turned up she had MS. This cannot be cured. There is no treatment. No chance. It can only gets worse. And it gets. I was the child she was going to born. My mom had the second, healthy baby but I’d like not to be ever born. If I hadn’t be born, she would be healthy now. She could be leading a happy life with my father and sister.In the first years she could walk. I remember small me, helping her. Moving her feets so she could get to the kitchen. Then I went to school. I didn’t tell anyone about the illness of my mother. She told me not to do that. I think she has always been ashamed of her disease even though it’s my fault, not her. Right now…She is in really bad condition. She hasn’t got enough strenght to move. Luckily, my sister is strong enough to help her. I’m too weak, not good enough. I do my best, but that’s never enough. This disease is destroying us all. No one in this home is happy. Everyone is angry, disappointed with their lives. I love my mom and I’m praying to God. I ask him to take my life and give my mom her health back, but he doesn’t listen. DOES HE NOT HEAR ME? I deserve for death! My mom should have never been ill. She had so many dreams…Travelling, continuing her career. Right now she is at home all the time. She’s afraid of new people, ashamed of herself. If it hadn’t been me, it could be so different.
I am the reason why she is crying.
You know what? That’s just one of the reasons why I want to leave. That’s even funny, isn’t it?