I’m a long time reader but I’ve never actually posted anything exept for like a comment somewhere. But now I’ve seen some great people here like Cordless and Drowning (seen more but I can’t remeber names) so for some reason I decided to post my story for anyone that’s interested
I think the worst part of my life is school. My horrible social life isn’t that great either but my situation at school is pretty fucking horrible. And no I’m not gonna sit here and complain about homework or some shit like that but I’m gonna be whining about the people at my school. I feel so left out. Every group in my class are so annoying. I fucking hate them but at the same time I desperatly want to be apart of one of them. If I were apart of one (a respected part that is) then I wouldn’t have to worry about things like where to sit at class or who to eat with at lunch.
At class we always have to do these fucking teamwork assingnments so that means I’m gonna have to pick a partner and when I haven’t picked one and all my “friends” are paired up then my teacher has to force me inside of some group that really doesn’t want me there. At lunch I have to eat with someone or I will be known as that weird loser that eats alone. I eat with my friends from another class sometimes but since they’re from another class, that’s not very fucking often. Most of the time i just skip lunch and sit alone in the library and play games on my ipad or something like that. But sometimes I feel like I have to eat so I pretty much force myself on people that I’m pretty sure doesn’t want me there
So that’s it. I realise my problems arent even a fraction of some of the people that post here but I guess I just needed to vent a little.
I’ve also been struggling with deppression for a long time. Still haven’t won that war tho.
and no I’m not actually suicidal. I guess I would be if I werent so scared of death. And if I didn’t fear for what would happen to my family if I dissapeared. My mother who loved me. My father who raised me. And my little sister who I’ve helped raise. I feel like it would be selfish to kill myself without at least thinking of them.
Anyway, thank you if you actually read this. It means alot.
8 comments
I know it’s hard to believe this, because you have to live in the present, as do we all, but…..
When I finished high school, I was surprised at how unimportant it all was. Everybody went on to live their own lives, and the few I still saw around occasionally quickly developed a much more mature attitude. Nothing that happened in school had any effect on my adult life.
You may also be surprised to find that you are far more liked than you realize. In school people are so worried about trying to fit in that they don’t really know how to relate. As adults, most will overcome this and open up more.
Try not to overthink things and burden yourself with extra stress.
Thank you, really. And yeah I know but… I still have to survive two more years with these people. But it does help to know that it will get better so… Thank you.
I wanted to let you know I read this. I hope you realize that it doesn’t matter if your problems are or aren’t “bigger” than other people’s, your feelings and reactions are valid. I’m in high school too and I like my new school this year a lot better, but last year was awful and I’ve been at several different schools and some were even worse trying to fit in.
School is really rough. Social situations are really, really hard. I hope that you can at some point live in a community where there are people who are easier to befriend. For me, a lot of my social issues were because I don’t think like a lot of other people do, and it was a lot easier to make friends once I came to a place where there are at least a few other people who think the way I do. I don’t know your situation, but if you go to college in the future it might be easier to feel accepted and included there, or if you get a job later maybe there will be people with similar interests in your workplace. I realize neither of these are helpful now but if it means anything at all, I hope you can feel included here. Also, at the risk of sounding like a nag, please make sure you do eat and don’t skip meals very often if ever.
I read your story. Thanks for telling it. Interesting how most everyone’s problems come from difficulties dealing with other humans. I just find that amazing. Did you know that most animals, when they fight each other, afterwards just literally shake it off. They fight, then shake their bodies really hard and rapid and go about their business. Humans love to internalize, mentally beat ourselves up..
“and no I’m not actually suicidal. I guess I would be if I werent so scared of death.”
Just wanted you to know that I’m not suicidal either, although I’ve had those thoughts and they haven’t been great.
Honestly, when it comes to high school, you should focus on doing things that interest you or things you like, and then friends will find you. All though elementary and middle school I was branded as the weirdo, but I liked music and wrestling at the time, and I found friends with similar interests… If you like gaming on your ipad, then game on your ipad. I’m sure there are others in your class that like gaming… Just don’t stress too much about fitting in, and don’t change who you are just to fit in (that’s just as bad).
Nice username papyrus 😛
You can do what ive done.
My high school is somewhat big. You have 3 main areas to eat at kinda spread out on campus and then you have the cafeteria. Instead of sitting at either eating areas id chill out on my own where theres shade and grass.
And the group work?
I totally get you :^> , maybe u can ask to work alone? The teacher might say yes.
Thanks. Just finished Undertale ( I love that guy ?)
And thanks for the advice bit I still feel like I could be branded as that lone weirdo if I did that (especially that teamwork thing)
It’s been awhile since I was in high school, but I remember the dread of having to team up into groups. I hated that. A lot.
It was as if the teacher said “Ok, now we’re all going to shove radioactive needles into our toenails for half an hour, and then write some things on a sheet of paper.”
One of the greatest things about high school years is that they eventually end.
I was very glad to graduate and get out.
It was so liberating to realize I wouldn’t have to see these people again.
Hang in there; after high school you get a fresh start.