I’m a long time reader but I’ve never actually posted anything exept for like a comment somewhere. But now I’ve seen some great people here like Cordless and Drowning (seen more but I can’t remeber names) so for some reason I decided to post my story for anyone that’s interested
I think the worst part of my life is school. My horrible social life isn’t that great either but my situation at school is pretty fucking horrible. And no I’m not gonna sit here and complain about homework or some shit like that but I’m gonna be whining about the people at my school. I feel so left out. Every group in my class are so annoying. I fucking hate them but at the same time I desperatly want to be apart of one of them. If I were apart of one (a respected part that is) then I wouldn’t have to worry about things like where to sit at class or who to eat with at lunch.
At class we always have to do these fucking teamwork assingnments so that means I’m gonna have to pick a partner and when I haven’t picked one and all my “friends” are paired up then my teacher has to force me inside of some group that really doesn’t want me there. At lunch I have to eat with someone or I will be known as that weird loser that eats alone. I eat with my friends from another class sometimes but since they’re from another class, that’s not very fucking often. Most of the time i just skip lunch and sit alone in the library and play games on my ipad or something like that. But sometimes I feel like I have to eat so I pretty much force myself on people that I’m pretty sure doesn’t want me there
So that’s it. I realise my problems arent even a fraction of some of the people that post here but I guess I just needed to vent a little.
I’ve also been struggling with deppression for a long time. Still haven’t won that war tho.
and no I’m not actually suicidal. I guess I would be if I werent so scared of death. And if I didn’t fear for what would happen to my family if I dissapeared. My mother who loved me. My father who raised me. And my little sister who I’ve helped raise. I feel like it would be selfish to kill myself without at least thinking of them.
Anyway, thank you if you actually read this. It means alot.