thank you everyone for your support. i’m awake now and doing alright, feeling sick but hopefully that will pass soon. this community has been so nonjudgmental and kind throughout this all, i really appreciate it. thank you so much guys, love you all.
as far as feelings… i’m angry that i failed again, angry that i tried to begin with… when did things start getting so bad that it seems impossible that things will get better? my mind is scattered, i feel like a failure. i’m just glad i wasnt found while i was out… i might find my way into the psych ward again, but it’s a dark place for me and i was happy to wake up, although sick and tired and sedated, in my own bed and not locked up in the hospital.
i need to get help and i’m going to try and get it. i just feel so alone but this site makes me realize that i’m not alone and there are some really good people out there! if i told my friends theyd call you “internet strangers” but the truth is more friends who can understand what this feeling is like, who really do care and try to help and make things better… i love you all so much. i’m sorry if any of what i did hurt or triggered you guys… i am trying to get better, i really am. love always