I’ve just been wondering about this question, so yeah, as the title already says, what’s keeping you alive?
Family? Friends? Something you don’t wanna miss?
For me, I guess it’s mainly my family, because I couldn’t imagine just leaving them here with all this shit that I created and they have to pay for in the end.
They really don’t deserve it.
The second would be that I’m just too fucking ***** to actually do it. I have to admit, even though life is Hell on Earth already, I’m still afraid of what comes after death. Whether I have to regret it or not.
Besides this little God damn spark of hope just doesn’t want to get extinguished. Even though I desperately try to get rid of it, it constantly keeps me thinking, that in some time my life might change and it could be awesome and great fun. But it really is depressing and exasperating to see it getting smaller and smaller every single day but yet not being completely burned out.
I hate that all, as well as I hate myself…