I absolutely hate it when people say that they will understand you no matter what maybe its your parents who tell you that they will understand you more than anyone else will. They’re liars. They will blame everything on you just being a child, “it’s just your teenage angst” or “its just your hormones”. People who I’ve opened up to will always tell me to go talk to my parents but I am damn sure that it won’t help anything. It will just make things worse and I’ll just feel like more of a burden to them. I hate it the most when I’m told that I’ve got too much anxiety and that I panic about everything but it was your fault and you know it! how can you just throw the book at me and keep convincing me that I’m a waste of time at such a young age and not expect me to have anxiety? you just make it worse I don’t think you take any responsibility for it and all that anxiety is the reason why I fail. Its the anxiety that YOU caused.
Don’t you hate it when people force things out of you and then find out that you’re just a freak and tell you, “I’m always here to talk” and “It will get better”? Sometimes I understand that some people don’t exactly understand how to talk a person like me but no, it NEVER gets better and who the fuck are you to tell me that things get better when I don’t even know what’s wrong with me? They’re the most annoying liars because its those people who after a while give up on you and keep asking you to just stop being so depressing! and you know what’s worse? most of the time, they’re not even there for you they will go gossip about you and tell them what a depressing emo kid you are… But then again, I’ve only got my fucking disgusting self to blame for trusting people. I’ve got one good friend and I can tell her things and I know for sure she won’t tell anyone and a Mum who means everything to me but I can’t tell her any of this. They’re the only two people who haven’t lied to me they don’t promise something unless they mean it and I am fucking grateful for them I don’t think I show them the amount of respect and love that they deserve because its just hard for me to believe that they are that nice to me of all people. I just can’t help but feel a little guilty about wanting to die so desperately.