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Why am I here?

by kupo95

Why am I with people I hate .

Why Am i in a town with no prosperity?

Why am I killing my self for the selfish people?

Staying with a  husband….no a llittle boy who is just as selfish.

I am alone

 

Why did I do this? Why am i here?

Why? can’t I stop crying

 

Im so sad, so miserable.

 

I wake up crying ,I go to sleep crying ..

I want to go home there is nothing for me here or go  anywhere with these people …I think I should end every thing

 

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7 comments

distant.road 4/21/2016 - 2:46 pm

No, please don’t end it. I’m sorry that you’re in a difficult situation. However, ending it isn’t the answer.

kupo95 4/21/2016 - 2:58 pm

@ distanct road I am thinking more about leaveing my husband and I dont know what to do from there on out. becused I cant take it no more and if I do I dont want to be remarried I dont want live and with this little boy anymore in my own house. Or with his family give him children. I cant Im to alone to be normal like my mother in law said we can all shit your head there nothing I can do . I fear I will die because of them i do i do .

distant.road 4/21/2016 - 4:26 pm

One of the few things that I ever want to do is give advice to someone suggesting that they should end their marriage. I don’t wish a divorce on anyone. However, I’m not sure what else I can suggest here.

You’re suffering, kupo95. You’ve been mentally tortured for a long time. Your husband and his family aren’t treating you well. Even worse, your husband isn’t putting his wife (you) first in his life. People usually marry because they love each other.

SAYING “I do” when getting married is easy. The ACTIONS of being married can be harder. It’s the ACTIONS that are the most important part. People may disagree about stuff. All marriages have disagreements. It’s one thing to disagree. It’s something else to be disrespected. You are being disrespected… and, even worse, perhaps being put in a position of constant suffering.

You have to put yourself first. If the marriage is causing more pain than happiness, then you might have a difficult decision to make.

Nobody should always be miserable. You have been miserable for a very long time.

Stellarchild 4/21/2016 - 3:41 pm

Put this on a scale

You or your husband? Your happiness or his?
See which one weights more and go with it.. And when you do.. never look back

If you have endured all this years then you should know better that.. You only have yourself.. You dont deserve this.. Dont imprison yourself.. You know the answer deep down.. After all, there is no i dont know.. There is only yes or no

kupo95 4/21/2016 - 3:51 pm

@ stellar child thank you you gavr me alot to think about…. Would I be able to be happy because I honstly cant remember when I was.

Stellarchild 4/21/2016 - 3:58 pm

Happiness.. Is such a vague word
You can have so many definitons for it and none seem correct.. But the true definiton for it is how you define it

For me.. I see happiness When i lay my head on the pillow and sigh with relief.. The light-chest feeling.. The feeling when i know i have done something good.. That am not a bad person.. When i close my eye and go through wi my life i dont see my self bullying anyone or commiting a murder or abusing or anything..
You know 🙂

kamidaka 4/21/2016 - 11:31 pm

Leave! For God’s sake if you feel sick of your town leave if you have the chance! You’re very lucky, and wherever you go you will succeed! I strongly believe in any person that wants to change their current situation, and you can do it! I believe in you! Go to another town, try some cities. Work in a big or small company or as a waiter/waitress, dishwasher, whatever the hell you want. Because you OWN your future, and wherever your choices lead you you’ll either be happy or fall and learn something.
Please don’t lose hope. Please.

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