I’m sat here again staring at the ceiling with tears down my cheeks which have imbedded themselves into my pillow. Why am I the one who over attached to everything. My bffs have kindly told me they couldn’t care less if I killed myself apparently it’s like I’m invisible anyway. I don’t understand what I did wrong? I try my hardest in school, I try my hardest to be accepted for the real me and I try my hardest to be good enough but how ever hard I try it just gets thrown back in my face. I’m used to being a no one now. I’ve been a no one for about 5 years. It just happened one day, everything just flipped. I used to have loads of friends then one day I was the no one, it’s never been the same since. I don’t see the point in living anymore, I never asked to be born into this cruel world. I never asked to be born into a world where I’m a human target, I never wanted to be the one who is forced away into the corner, I never asked to be the one who goes home crying everyday, I’m not the one who asked to have my stuff taken and thrown around, I never asked to be the one who writes her Suicide note a million times a day, I’m not the one who wanted to be born into a world where I’m naked to feel like I’m worthless and I’m definitely not the one who asked to be the way I am. People keep telling me not to overreact, it’s just the fact you’re hurting, pull yourself together, people have it worse.
Im constantly telling myself that im Ok but honestly I’m not, honestly I’m dying, I’m watching my world crumbling and I have no control over it. If I’m classified as selfish and a coward for wanting to end my life, so be it.
the fact people can hurt and make people suffer to the point suicide is the only escape makes me sick bur I can’t control it…for I am weak and weak I will stay….