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by NicoleK

Dammit. I try so friggin hard to keep my mouth shut, but I can’t seem to isolate myself properly. Nobody should have to deal with my sad BS, but I am and always will be a whiney, stupid loser. I get weak, and I cave, and I burden others with my helpless garbage. Gah. I wish I could get some rest and turn my brain off.

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Soco 5/2/2016 - 11:16 pm

I feel for u nicole, & wish for ur sake u didnt have to feel this way. Ive read ur other posts & it sounds like u should talk to a professional if thats an option for u. In the mean time try and remember that ur worth more than u think. And there are people here who care about u. Take care.

NicoleK 5/2/2016 - 11:29 pm

Yea, Soco, I know I should. I did in college, and I never felt better than when I had a counselor. But it was easier when I was away from home. No one else had to know. It was free at my college. Here, at home, none of my family knows that I struggle with mental health, and I’m afraid that somewhere in figuring out the insurance process for therapy, they would find out. I guess, that’s not a real excuse, but I’m just afraid. Thanks for commenting, and encouraging me. I think that helps the most. The more evidence I have against the lies in my head, the easier it is to fight them.

tryingtohope 5/3/2016 - 12:24 am

Nicole. We get it and you can say anything you need to here. What is the worst that will happen if your family finds out how sad you are? If you think it will help to get help then do it. It’s better than feeling so alone isn’t it. I think it’s ok and honest to speak how you feel. Don’t you feel better just writing it down here and having people get it? That’s why I am on this website and not some positive thinking website that tells me to deny my reality. We are who we are. We want to not feel so crappy. But denying that we feel crappy isn’t going to make us feel better. For me, that just adds more crap. Anyway, hope that makes some sense. It’s been a long day so I’m signing off. I’ll check back in the morning.

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