I think the fact that I was raped and nobody (friends) believe me or support me is what’s going to make me pull the trigger. I told one of my close friends about it yesterday but I made it seem like it was a friend who got raped and not me. And he said “well was she flirting with him.” That pissed me off. Then I said does it matter, she said no and kept trying to push him off. Then he continues to say “Well I know how guys think. He probably thought she was playing hard to get.” “maybe in her mind it was rape, but to him it wasn’t. I don”t know, that’s how I play with my girl.” And he was pissing me off so bad that I started to cry.
A day before that my other friend decided to make a joke before dropping me off the bust station. “Are you sure you want me to drop you off? I don’t want you to get robbed……or raped.” And she began laughing. She doesn’t take it seriously. She says it’s not rape because I didn’t try hard enough to fight him off. So she never took my situation serious.
After these two conversations, I’m starting to think maybe it is my fault. Because why else would friends say and think this. I’m going to die before this month is over. I cannot think like this anymore.