Hi I’m Arianna… So i recently came out as Bi/BisexualxD, but no one knows, but me.. So basically I’ve came out as bisexual to myself.. I’m going to tell my parents, but I don’t know what exactly to say to them, my mum is quite random about her reactions/emotions.. Mostly because of the alcohol she drinks literally everyday, soooo she might be either happy for me or just hate me even more then she does already.. Any suggestions?? Thanks X333
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Knock-knock joke: “Who’s there?” “Me” “Me, who?” – “Me, coming out to you right now”
Do it gently. Maybe tell them you want to share something important about your private life, and ask them when would be a good time to talk about it. Then just explain it.
It is so brave and cool that you are doing this, but in the end, it is your life, and if other people disagree with that aspect of it, that is their problem. I know it hurts when people don’t accept you for you, but it is important not to let it get to you, because that is where the real damage can happen, when you violate yourself to fit their requirements.
High five, I’m bi too! My coming out didn’t go so well (my mom basically told me to get back in the closet) so I don’t have great advice to give you since I apparently didn’t do it well enough. It’s super awesome you want to tell them. If they’re not homophobic, which it seems like they’re not since you want to tell them, I think it’s a great idea. muspelhem’s is a good idea, set aside a time to talk to them. then just tell them I guess, and if they don’t know what it means I guess explain it. but hopefully it goes pretty straightforward and they support you!
best of luck to you. let us know what happens!
@4beyondhelp
I agree with you, except on the part of you not doing it “well enough”. It wasn’t you, you did your part. It’s just difficult for some people knowing how to react in these situations, and some take some time to accept the fact. Give them that time. Your mom is partially right in the sense that, after all, it’s not like you’re going to go walking around town with a sign on your head saying “I’m Bi”… It’s none of people’s business anyhow.
But at least they know now, and that alone is more than what others struggling to come out have.
My brother (RIP) was bi and I know that burned him inside at some point.
My uncle is gay and he lives a happy life. Him and his partner at the time were my witnesses… at
my catholic wedding, lol!
(Should’ve seen our Priest’s look on his face..! But he was cool and quickly went on with the ceremony.)
@Airrie
Hello Arianna – It’s a great thing that you have taken your first step in the right direction: Accepting yourself (or ‘coming out to yourself’ as you put it 🙂 ).
My daughter is now 18, but I’ve known she’s bi since she was 13. She told me in tears one night, but those quickly turned into tears of joy and appreciation when I showed her that there is nothing wrong with that at all. “In fact -I told her- you even have an advantage because you have double the chances of finding love than most of us!”. We laughed to that remark and I could tell she was SO relieved and immediately at ease with it all, but especially with herself.
Now the question was Mom. My wife is more on the catholic conservative side, and has a more volatile temper, but she’s surprised us in the past with how she reacted better than we expected to other situations in the past. Nevertheless, we decided to wait a little longer to tell her, until my daughter felt more comfortable.
A few weeks after turning 16, we were having dinner at a restaurant and the mood was such that, while all four of us were just finishing our meals, she casually blurted it out.
Now of course the unexpected revelation took my wife by surprise, and she was obviously a bit shocked and nervous about how to react, but only for a brief minute or two.
Since then, we hardly even talk about this as what our daughter does in this aspect of her life is much her own business. We just give her advice on relationships much as how any other parent will do, except we usually have to make it ambiguously, lol
I do completely agree with @muspelhem’s advice, to which as shown above, I only want to add the fact that coming out to your family doesn’t need to be a serious, “you all better have a seat”-kind of situation. Actually, you don’t even need to tell everyone at once. Unless of course you feel this is the best way in your case. You know your family better.
Play it down a bit, because to tell you the truth, you’re not confessing a crime, a mistake, or something wrong with anything.
Don’t say your mom hates you, btw. It’s got to be mostly the alcohol talking for her. You have to know that alcoholics, or any addict for that matter, aren’t themselves even when sober, until they’re clean and rehabilitated.
Go for it. WE have your back Airrie 😉