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feel like I brained my damage..

by Soco

Theres so much I feel like saying today, but then I try and there’s nothing. I go blank. Been feeling like this most of the day, my vision has been all jumpy and strange, & there is no cohesion to my thoughts.
Kinda feel like staying on this train forever ( Im on my way home from work), and dissapearing and starting all over again. Or just dissapearing. I feel like ive past my used by date sometimes. Like I somehow missed my date with the grim reaper. Probably slept thru it, knowing myself. Hiding under the doona and he couldnt find me.
Anyway ive talked enough shit, will finish with this.
If ur young and live at home, dont kill urself till u try living out on ur own. Parents always suck and they will screw u up no matter what. Cos the truth is, they probably had no idea how to raise a happy well adjusted person. If that person even exists. Im still waiting to meet them.
Take care everyone.

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gkks 5/2/2016 - 3:54 am

Hey soco, i know that parents may be pushy sometimes but i always believed that whatever they are saying or do is for our own good. I was always fighting with my dad, we had a different opinion about how life must be. But when i lost him i was devastated and went to a very dark place. Hope you had a good day at work.

Soco 5/2/2016 - 4:04 am

Thanks mate . Yeah it was ok. Im a bit all over the place at the moment tho. All good. Hows ur day travelling?

gkks 5/2/2016 - 4:09 am

It’s almost noon here (Europe), a bit boring my mind is traveling though like it always had.

Soco 5/2/2016 - 4:12 am

Thats a bummer. Ur at work right? I wish I was in europe right now, ive not travelled there yet, but would love to be somewhere different.

gkks 5/2/2016 - 4:19 am

Actually today I’m not working, i took some vacation days. You should visit europe the first chance you get. Beautiful places to see.I haven’t traveled much in my life. Don’t make the same mistake.

Soco 5/2/2016 - 4:25 am

Your so right. Ive been to the states once. Hawaii and LA. And a little bit in south east asia but europe is where I dream of. Im a big history and art lover and there is so much there to see. I posted a poem the other day about traveling, I miss it. But as addiction has been such a part of my life for so long, its been out of the question. Thats why im trying so hard to get and stay clean and work and save money. Maybe we could have coffee one day where u are.

gkks 5/2/2016 - 4:32 am

If you ever visit we will sure have coffee and everything. Stay strong and clean Soco and I’m sure good things will come to your life.

Soco 5/2/2016 - 4:37 am

Thanks again. Its crazy hey, there are so many good and beautiful people here, yet there is so much pain. None of us deserve it. I mean here u are,, just a quick chat and im feeling heaps better and more together. Thanks gk, your a good one. I got to go but take care. Enjoy ur afternoon. Chat soon.

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