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Its over

by darkwillow

I need a suicide date. date as in, day, not some weird romantic fetish.. But i guess I’ll decide on that later.

I’ve been pushed over the edge now. I don’t have motivation to run away. I don’t have motivation to look for new people or friends. I’ve tried talking and meeting to countless online friends. Some i have pushed away..

I’m done. I can’t do this.

I’ll let you know when i decide on a date.

Thank you Chordful, Kat, Sportsballs, Fakingit.. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.

I wont ever leave without a proper goodbye.

I’d write more, but tears are like burning my eyes.. Is that normal? 0.o

Goodbye for now

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9 comments

Cordless 5/25/2016 - 1:08 am

It would mean a lot to me if you didn’t go.

Cordless 5/25/2016 - 7:41 am

Checking in this morning to see if you are ok.

darkwillow 5/25/2016 - 3:05 pm

I’m okay. I’m seeing what I can do

Cordless 5/25/2016 - 3:18 pm

I’m glad you are ok.
(!)

whiskered-fish 5/25/2016 - 11:48 am

I wished I had seen this earlier. I don’t want you to go but I don’t want to fill you full of guilt and shame, either. I don’t want to force you into staying by emotionally blackmailing you. But I’m going to second Cordless and say that you deserve to live, and I want you to live.

What pushed you? I know a lot of what has been going on with you lately, but this sounds like a specific event in particular.

darkwillow 5/25/2016 - 3:05 pm

This girl I was talking to. I mentioned get to you. The one that moving to Hawaii. She left me. It made me realize, I’m not good for relationships. And considering I don’t get messages often, I’m not good for friends either.
I’m looking for ways out. I’ll see what alternatives I can do before I decide to die

Thank you Kat. Your comments make me smile 🙂

flowersinmyhair_ 5/25/2016 - 12:36 pm

Hey i really love you, i dont have to know you to know i do. I really want you to feel better and I’ll be there whenever you need a chat. Trust me, itll be fine, eventhough it seems impossible right know… It will be okay.. I promise..??

muspelhem 5/25/2016 - 1:08 pm

I don’t want you to go. Life is precious. You matter. You are here, you might as well stay for the duration.

hdd7474 5/26/2016 - 2:27 am

Coming from someone who just found out literally a month and one day ago that their mom committed suicide please reconsider that choice. You may think that no will care or it won’t make a difference but I promise you…. it will affect way more people than you know.

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