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Nobody wants to talk about drugs huh

by whydoiwantto

Isn’t in funny how a lot of people on this site will ignore any post that even mentions drugs. Even though depression and addiction often go hand. Well here it goes, you’ve been warned!!
Was that so bad huh? Well it’s been maybe 1-2 weeks of nonstop daily use, and honestly when that powder hits my nose I feel calm. You imagine a cokehead jumping up and down, meanwhile I’m nodding on it. I feel calm and for once that constant voice saying suicidesuicidesuicide is shut out by the voice saying cokecokecoke.

I guess recovery’s not going so well. Sorry for taking my anger out here but my family doesn’t know about the drugs or the suicide and it just hurts me that it seems that one of the few supportive places I have seems to turn their back on me the second I bring up using. Obviously this doesn’t apply to everyone- particularly I want to thank HDS for her wisdom… Thanks guys, love always


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playdead4fun 5/17/2016 - 8:13 pm

Drugs are used since always…
Let’s talk about drugs
Let’s use drugs
And fuk d mother fucker hipocrites

Junk food
Online porn
Suicidal mania
Online love
Online sex
Broken hearts
Broken families
Self harm

Pick your today’s drug.

Hazy Day Sunflower 5/17/2016 - 8:17 pm

You forgot picking fingers bloody. Please add that one to the list.

playdead4fun 5/18/2016 - 7:31 am


Hazy Day Sunflower 5/17/2016 - 8:16 pm

I was just going to comment that I can wax poetic for hours about drug and alcohol use and abuse. Until I read the end.

wow Thank you. I’ll be around tonight if you want to chat.

On a side note I have masking tape around all the ends of my fingers. I have managed to pick them bloody. I guess trade one addiction for another. Fucking hate it when I do this, I am helpless to stop though, hence the masking tape. Just the right amount of pressure and stiffness to make the ends of my fingers kind of numb. which seems to help.

What am I a five year old? FFS.

playdead4fun 5/18/2016 - 7:34 am

Girl how will u paint your lovely paintings if you do that to your fingers??
Art first please!!!
Take care of yourself. You are too talented for torturing yourself.
Pick a canvas with sth instead of hurt your fingers.

whiskered-fish 5/17/2016 - 8:18 pm

I can’t speak for anybody else. But I hate talking about drugs because drugs destroyed my family. Killed a few of the closest to me and made my childhood hell. The topic makes me very angry. So, sorry.

That being said, don’t feel bad about blowing off steam here. That’s what this place is for. And anyway, maybe it’s simply that very few people saw the post. Maybe the people here weren’t purposefully ignoring you. Sometimes, posts just get only one or two comments, or even go completely ignored. It’s unfortunate, but it can happen.
A lot of us here care about you. Sometimes we just don’t know what to say, or are too broken ourselves to help anybody else.

Hazy Day Sunflower 5/17/2016 - 8:19 pm

I avoid certain posts when I know it will trigger me. I’ve been avoiding all of the self harm/cutting posts all week because the urge to pick my fingers bloody has been overwelming. Didn’t help though. I’m still fucked.

Perhaps some avoid because it can be a trigger.

playdead4fun 5/18/2016 - 7:35 am

Those are the posts I read most but I do not self harm :/

noneedforaname 5/17/2016 - 9:38 pm

Drugs, alcohol ??? Don’t threaten me with a good time….. Fuck it, lets get this party started……

playdead4fun 5/18/2016 - 7:37 am

Yeah…. let’s do a party!!! \0/

soulsister 5/17/2016 - 10:43 pm

Who wants to talk about it? Let’s just do it!

playdead4fun 5/18/2016 - 7:37 am

Yeah…let’s go!

Alan Ominous 5/18/2016 - 1:25 am

As a recovered addict (8 years). Blow is my only real temptation. Thinking of it my mouth waters.

lifeinkg 5/20/2016 - 9:00 pm

I struggle with addiction as well, my main drug of choice is heroin, but i use anything that would take me away from this shit reality you name it meth, coke, weed, pain killers or a mix of whatever. I have been clean now for almost 3 months.

My depression is getting bad these days and it’s making me so tempted to use, especially opiates. but i am trying so hard not to, because if my family finds out that i relapsed i am screwed. I just came out of rehab almost a year ago.

I wish i died of an OD when i was at the peak of my addiction, i wish i was never saved. i never asked to be fucking saved god damn it.

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