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What i want

by turquoise

Nobody gets it. I dont want help. I dont want to talk. I dont want drugs or therapy or company. I have tried all my life to want to live but I never have wanted it. I didnt ask for this life. I dont want to feel better or try again or look on the bright side or give it time. What i want is to turn it all off.

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Iwantpeace2 5/20/2016 - 7:30 am

I agree thank you for showing me its ok to want it all to end to not want nothing at all

ViLDuce 5/20/2016 - 10:33 am

I would agree with you. I didn’t ask for this life, yet, here I am. A failure to most but I’m still standing. Because fuck all. That’s why.

mysteriousvisitor 5/20/2016 - 11:10 am

Thank you for pointing out that not every suicidal comment is a “cry for help”. Nothing wrong with wanting help, but nothing wrong with not wanting it either.

OldCow 5/20/2016 - 11:35 am

I agree with you as well. I don’t want help or sympathy or anyone to pity me. Screw all of them. There is nothing wrong with just wanting to un-screw the lightbulb when you don’t like what you see.

turquoise 5/20/2016 - 12:22 pm

I have never had someone say that to me. That i have every rigjht to blow my head off. What do they think? Their kindness is going to save me? I fucking hate nanny state rescue fantasy bullshit. Why cant someone just say , well youre right. Fuck it. Do it. Youre entitled. Youve tried drugs and therapy and the rest and for 30 years you have woken up in the morning hoping its your last sunrise. So do it. Its time.

No. They say awwww. Why do you feel this way? We must fix you so you are a conformist robot asshole.

For professionals i guess its liability. They cant. Even tho half the pros i have seen have been suicidal addicts themselves. They cant tell me the truth. That i have every right, and no reason to live.

And therein lies the insincerity that comes from every corner of society and which i can tolerate no longer.

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