I diagnosed myself to be a schizoid, but due to self-diagnosis, people may laugh it off, but I know myself very well.
I have no desire to live, or to die. I see no real meaning to continue living. Everyone has to die, isn’t it? It also seems to be the quicker way to get rid of the boredom I have had all my life. Though my circumstances are just as bad as any other suicidal person, I have no real emotional attachment to anything in life. I live alone in Japan, though I was not raised here, hence I don’t even speak japanese.
There is no alternate way for me, I have used up my savings to prepare for this, I can’t get a job without knowing the language. My parents brought me here a year ago to work and went back to their country. I have no attachments or whatever. Even if I can’t kill myself, starvation will kill me.
For those who want to reply to this post, answer me this:
What actually is the meaning of living? Why do you need to live, knowing that you will die, whether you want to or not.