I diagnosed myself to be a schizoid, but due to self-diagnosis, people may laugh it off, but I know myself very well.
I have no desire to live, or to die. I see no real meaning to continue living. Everyone has to die, isn’t it? It also seems to be the quicker way to get rid of the boredom I have had all my life. Though my circumstances are just as bad as any other suicidal person, I have no real emotional attachment to anything in life. I live alone in Japan, though I was not raised here, hence I don’t even speak japanese.
There is no alternate way for me, I have used up my savings to prepare for this, I can’t get a job without knowing the language. My parents brought me here a year ago to work and went back to their country. I have no attachments or whatever. Even if I can’t kill myself, starvation will kill me.
For those who want to reply to this post, answer me this:
What actually is the meaning of living? Why do you need to live, knowing that you will die, whether you want to or not.
9 comments
What I’ve discovered is the meaning to living is what you give it. No one can give you this meaning. You can’t borrow it or read it in books or think great thoughts or pray for it or google it. One day you wake up, maybe hear a bird sing or step on a rock or hear a piece of music and..BOOM. There it is. That’s it. Then follow that meaning for awhile until it doesn’t call to you anymore. It loses it’s juice. Then something else will boink you in the head….and there’s a new life meaning….for a while…and on and on and on…until there’s no more you looking, searching for meaning. Maybe even one day you wake up and the whole world calls out it’s meaning to YOU. Then whatever you do, from eating a banana to sweeping the floor is meaning and tickles you completely.
Things don’t appeal to me anymore. I don’t find myself interested in anything at all. As far as (might be a bit offensive) getting no emotional pleasure from masturbation. That probably sounded funny. I seem to lack the ability to emotionally attach myself to the things I do, though I don’t do much anyway. How do apathic or even mentally disabled people try to make meanings out of their lives? Oh well, whatever.
I don’t know. All you can do is try to stay curious about things. You don’t have to get emotionally attached or emotionally involved, but just curious. But what do I know? Good luck. Hang in.
IDK, but you should look at my post, “Purpose of Life”. It helps give hope for people like you. And to tell you the truth, I have the same issue as you and we wll support you.
Thank you Randall and lxmyrick for your support. I don’t really have that drive to push myself out of this pithole but I find it good for to know. Curiosity was what made human species come this far. So if I actually get some worthy explanation to the meaning of life, maybe I can help other people who are in similar distress. Maybe something will change.
Qdas, you create your own meaning.
I live, because I like to learn things, and because I want to end the things that I’ve started. Once the final thing comes to a definite conclusion, I’ll die in peace. I want to die knowing that I got to the end, that I’ve learned what I wanted and could learn, and that I did what I wanted and could do. They may be little and insignificant things, but they mean the world to me.
I think everything in the end boils down to perspective. I think you guys are right. this thing called perspective keeps changing a lot and is causing me problems. Too much thinking should be avoided. It gave me unnecessary sense of nihilism.
Hello. Im a bit like you. I dont have real problems or tragedies in my life. I just cant find meaning. is pleasure worth staying? Im on a steady diet of pot and coke to find out.