So I saw my psychiatrist today and I was somewhat honest with her. I explained how the voices are getting bad and stopping me from focusing (I didn’t mention Bree), despite my mum being in the room.
Turns out I’m going on antipsychotics now. I planned to do research on it, but I can’t for the life of me remember the specific one and I forgot the leaflet at my session. I’m not too worried as much about actually taking the pills anymore, I’m more anxious about the blood tests. Specifically the one I need to have within the next week or so. And then the blood tests every 3 months.
I’m absolutely petrified of needles to the point where it takes several nurses 10-15 minutes to calm me down enough to stop my arms shaking to inject me. The last time I had a blood test was when I was about 5/6, and they were finger pricks. So these will be my first needle blood tests. Fun.
I considered not doing it, but I need to see if the medication will work because I can’t cope on my own with it all anymore. I’m getting my GP to do the blood test considering he knows my medical history and how terrified I am of needles, and he will take the time to calm me down. So I don’t think it will be too horrific of an experience for me.
I didn’t up my fluoxetine, however. I didn’t bring my mood up really as I was to focused on the voices. Besides, apparently I need closer monitoring now with the fluoxetine/antipsychotic combination so I don’t know when it’ll be getting increased as I start the antipsychotics within the next couple of weeks.
I need to do extra therapy with my current therapist for the voices alongside the medication (even though I’ve done that before and it did nothing but make it worse).
As of right now, the voices aren’t too bad as I just had a particularly bad episode about 40 minutes ago and they went away abruptly. So, if Bree doesn’t come back again tonight, I might get a decent amount of sleep.
The upside to the medication will be the drowsiness side effect I am desperate to get – as stupid as it sounds. My lacking of sleep is awful, so anything that will cause me to get some extra sleep (be it through the day or not) is the best news I could hear right now.