Well things are about to change i just have to wait until Tuesday I’d be lying if i said i wasnt scared turning your back on your family is never easy even if they’re abunch of abusive assholes hopefully someome has some words of wisdom or just something comforting because this is ripping me apart on one hand they’re my family on the other they’re bad for me and very toxic i wish this was easier but it isn’t i need to learn to not be so sensative about putting myself first i need this and they can’t understand that so be it
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Family can mean more than just shared genes, I consider some friends as family. I think it’s important we choose carefully who we allow into our lives as actions can affect both parties.
Closing that door may be the right thing to do at this moment in time. People change over time, who knows if the door will remain closed forever. Perhaps this is the catalyst your family requires for self reflection.
I walked away from my family when I was 18 or 19 and moved 1000 miles away to a city I had never been to. Everyone tried to stop me all for their own selfish reasons, not one of them considered my needs on any level. Their parting words were “You are going to fail”. Well so be it then right? I’m failing here and you are making me miserable and you are positively toxic. I’d rather fail and own it for my own than fail in this pathetic place where everyone has their collective feet on my neck.
Know what? I didn’t fail. Was it hard at times? Hell yeah. Was it satisfying as hell? OMFG it was so satisfying to have my own life and no one chiming in about what a shitty failure I was. LOL.
Walked away and made my own life. My own rules. Family is who you invite into your life not who won the genetic lottery. I’m fine with that. In the last ten years I have reconciled with my mother. She is old and mentally ill and I accept she is crazy as shit. I dont’ let her effect me any longer. She calls crying about all the regrets she has, most of them regarding me.
I tell her it is okay. Because it is okay. She’s old and she will be dead soon. I leave her to her regrets.
I have NO regrets about leaving and making my own life at 19. That makes me feel pretty fucking good this morning. And a little smug.
Thank you so much for all your reassurance over the past year this just gave me the final push I need to leave without feeling bad about it
Just be smart and think of yourself first and you will be ok. Not great. That comes later. But ok sure beats the hell out of omfg I want to blow my brains out I’m trapped with crazy people.
Have you ever tried ACA or ACA?