my recent blackout II

  June 23rd, 2016 by death bunny

just took nine xanax pills. each pill is half a milligram = 4.5 milligrams. this is not a suicidal attempt, obviously. i just needed something that’ll take me away for a while. girlfriend problems are bitching. soon i should have a blackout and won’t remember any this, so that’s why i’m writing this to you, as well as for myself.

update: i just woke up because my girlfriend called me. i’ve slept for seven hours with my shoes on, apparently. i’m still confused. the fuck she want with me? anything i do seems like a mistake. i don’t know if she’s angry, disappointed, or generally hate me.

ah, fuck this shit. i couldn’t care less about my well being. fuck her for making me promise i’d call her before self-harming, for her hypocritical care for me.

stop thinking you’re the only one suffering. and frankly, i don’t give a damn if you were to be hospitalized. maybe in a way it’ll get you back to norm. back to the roots of our relationship. after all, we met at the hospital, each coping with his own mental illness.

i’m still beat. think i’ll get in bed and try to sleep the rest of my trip off.

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