I suppose there is something to be said about knowing someone for most of your life. However, what does it say when you realize how fake you truly are? I’m talking about the self-realization that your words are being puked out instead of being exhaled out. Words shouldn’t be forced, painful and disgusting… They should be gentle, painless and tasteful. The phrase, “How are you?” should never mask anything, lest of all; an apathy. Even though I’m writing down my thoughts to SP, to people who won’t judge me for the horrible things I’m typing, these words still taste like bile! What sort of monster am I to never be able to say something with 100% conviction!?
I guess this realization explains everything about my life. Everything from my character down to my very words are poisonous… I can’t even let out a laugh for the pitiful, comedic farce my life has become! It doesn’t take a genius to realize that the only thing worse than death is a life never lived… Sure, people can interpret that as children dying far too young but others can interpret that as a living death. An oxymoron by nature but one far too prevalent among humanity. If one’s faculties are taken away outside of their own volition, isn’t that imprisonment or a life not lived? An act of self-cannibalism be it born from others or from insanity is still extremely frightening regardless of the reason. Is choosing nothingness really that scary when compared to a future of being devoured?
Sure, you can say things will get better but my question to that absolute statement is simply this: For how long until it crashes again? The sad truth is those people can’t say “forever” with 100% conviction when it comes to being alive. In a world dictated by environmental forces, one’s control over their life is nothing more than fallacy. True control wouldn’t be influenced by outside forces! Those people in the Florida nightclub would still be alive if they weren’t prey to the actions of others… Granted, the plot thickens if “the bomber was an Islamic terrorist” or “the bomber was a delusional homosexual” theories hold any merit. If so, the actions of the bomber could be considered a product of their own environment, as well. Although, the possibility of being either doesn’t excuse his actions. The only sin the clubbers were committing was gluttony for wanting to have a good time. If that is a sin worthy of being murdered in cold blood for than every single person on this planet deserves to die!