Ever think of dying? Cause I have thought about it a few times. But have you ever thought of suicide? Always, maybe I’m just sick of being hurt or hurting others and I just think it would be great to go away from everyone and make life easier for them by ending my own life. But what will my family and friends think? Well I’m probably an imbarresment to my family, and friends, I don’t think I have any.
I can’t picture someone walking into my room and finding me in a pool of blood. What if they cared after all. And they loved me everyday but I was too blind to see that. And I would break a lot of people’s hearths because I was too selfish thinking about myself. But then I don’t wanna wake up every morning asking God why I’m still here and why won’t he just let me go. And I don’t wanna continue living in pain crying myself to sleep at night. But maybe it’s worth a try to just end everything. But what if I fail and after an overdose I’m rushed to hospital and ‘saved’. Waking up in a white room surrounded by doctors and family, asking if I’m okay? I’d have to live around people calling me an attention seeker or a suicide bomb. So now I’m confused between life and death but I’ve been fighting for so long that I think the best is just to let go.
9 comments
I think you should make your What if statements into positive statements… that might help. Or even into healthy things you want to do and then go do them.
I don’t think its selfish at all not wanting to be in pain. It sounds like you just got a negative loop going in your head that you need to throw in the trash. It happens to us all. Maybe grounding would help. Like you sit in a room and just observe things. Its supposed to kind of calm you down and snap you into the now moment rather than worrying about things and how or if they will all be solved.
Hope what I said makes sense and helps.
I hear you, finding a reason to live when your in pain and your lie is shit is hard. I don’t know what your going through that is causing you to feel this way, but everyone has their problems and sometimes one can be overwhelmed and think they’d be better off dead.
Create a list of positives and things you enjoy. Some examples are music, favorite movie, being outside and feeling the warmth of the sun, a favorite food, a place you like to visit, etc. After you create your list, focus on those items, imagine them in your head, let them full your senses. Then pick one and go get it or do it. Push the other problems aside and take a break.
I think about suicide all the time. I have a long list of reasons for doing it which no one understands. Everyone in my life, family, friends, doctors, tell me to be patient, take life one day at a time and things will get better. I think to myself, if they only know how much pain I’m in they would agree that suicide is a strong option. Well, I’m still here, taking it one day at a time. I recently found faith in God and have put all my trust and allowed myself to be filled with his love and glory. I’ve also stopped looking inward at my own suffering and now feel how much people in my life love me. I still hurt, but I find enough hope to get through the day.
The big picture can look pretty grim. Focus on the small things you can control and enjoy the little bits of happiness they bring.
Thanks you for replying but I just took 20 pills there was least 5 different types of medicine. Wish me luck. If you don’t hear from me that means all my pain is over.Goodbye
Oh my gosh! I either hope you are successful or that you recover without any injury and get help. Obviously the second option is preferred.
I truly hope I hear from you.
I think almost everybody on this side thinks this way. Don’t want to die, but to live is so painful (for whatever reason). But I think after all, it doesn’t matter much, live if you can, die when you die. People will take it somehow, we are the ones who suffer here, not them 🙂
It’s been a few hours I can’t fall asleep thanks for your support but by now I have taken 60 pills and right now I don’t care if I get hurt I want people to know what happened to me.if I die I want the people who hurt me to feel guilty. If I wake up in hospital alive , I will tell everyone what happened and come back living stronger than I ever was if I don’t fall asleep in the next hour I’m gonna take 40 more pills and I don’t care how much damage that will do to me I want people to feel pain as i do. We all do sometimes want others to feel our pain. I must sound mean but fuck it people are like glow stick we need to be Brocken before we sparkle and I don’t know if this is the medicine speaking or the real me but tonight I’m either gonna dye are get to hospital with an over dose .ive tried suicide before not in this way and no knows about that becauz I did no damage , but you guys know that now so I think it’s worth a try . Call me a killer if u want but it’s my life choise, so if u go against me u never wanted to truly kill yourself .thanks for reading this
Sorry if there’s mistakes my head is ripping
The people who hurt you, will most likely not feel guilty. At best, they’ll be shocked and then be over it in a week, or even less. However, committing suicide will hurt the people that care for you, for the rest of their lives. Please reconsider. Trying to hurt people through suicide is a waste of life. It’ll hurt those people more if you strive to live, and to try to find happiness. They’ll realize that they have no affect over you. Once again, please reconsider.
Yes, I’ve been there and felt the same way. If you live through this then maybe you will see things in a different light. There is so many wonderful and beautiful things in this world that make life worth living. You just have to look beyond your current pain and problems. What ever path this decision takes you down, may you find peace.
A happy place for me is a library. All those books offering a way of escaping your problems and offering you a window to view whatever your heart desires. Something to look forward to and try should you make it through this.
Thanks guy I’m okay now still recovering from th OD it’s hard but I’ll get through it