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Good news?

by AshCoveredAngel

So after 3 phone calls to the state about my insurance i found the letter they said I had received. Low and behold it’s the same fucking number. They can help me they’re just refusing.

So my insurance will be canceled next month. I’ll be 8 months pregnant. My 2 year old also won’t receive any coverage.

Why is this good news?

I have 0 income but foodstamps, no property of any kind, and 0 in a bank account. All the hospitals can do is trash my already trashed credit. I’ll receive prenatal care and birth them in exchange for credit points.

It also means I won’t be able to continue mental health treatment. Which is fine I have no plans to fight my way through postpartum depression if I have it.

My newest stipulation is no attempts only success. My first solid attempt would’ve been successful had I gone through with it according to my research. Knowing I can finally commit suicide brings comfort.

6 comments
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6 comments

tragedyofjohn 7/19/2016 - 12:00 am

Why do u want to kill yourself when u have a 2 year old and 8 months pregnant?

AshCoveredAngel 7/19/2016 - 1:03 am

Been suicidal for nearly 16 years now. Having kids doesn’t change this. Not for everyone at least. Once upon a time I had a spouse, 4 bedroom house, pets, and a brand new car. Everything I ever wanted just not the way I wanted and was still suicidal. Nothing is going to fix it because it’s not circumstantial. Better to leave kids who won’t remember me behind than ones who can. They’ll grow up and hate me or at least resent me anyways. With my personality disorders I can’t have normal healthy relationships with anybody anyways.

Besides it’s pretty selfish to live for your kids. That’s putting your pain on them. “I’m depressed and in pain every single day but it’s ok because I have you”

tragedyofjohn 7/19/2016 - 1:39 am

Well don’t kill yourself while you are pregnant

AshCoveredAngel 7/19/2016 - 3:26 am

I don’t post often so you probably haven’t seen me mention it at least 3x I have a rule against physically harming others.

I’m pro choice but I realize that a fetus is a potential life. They aren’t actually a full life but could have one.

madhurgupta 7/19/2016 - 1:09 am

If I had money I’d give you, I’m gonna be dead soon too…but my Mom and younger brother needs it. I’m jobless too.

AshCoveredAngel 7/19/2016 - 3:28 am

Meh doesn’t matter they can get blood from a stone. Been applying for work for 5 years and still no job. It’s likely I’ll never have anything to begin with. I had a car once but it was repossessed other than that I’ve never had my name on anything.

You don’t make bills without an income to pay them. Not my problem the state is canceling my insurance by refusal to do their job.

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