Well today all the walls came crashing down in a giant explosion. I’ve been hiding some bills from my husband since I lost my job and I know it’s wrong but he has a heart condition and he gets stressed easy. Well today he checked the mail and found the Bills I’ve been hiding. We got into a huge fight and he’s threatening to leave me for hiding shit from him. I was trying so hard and now i need to figure out what to do. He doesn’t care that I did it so he wouldn’t have to deal with the heart issues. He doesn’t care that I’m putting off school for a quarter to get a job to start making things right. He doesn’t care that ever insult and every dig pushes me closer to that point of no return. He doesn’t care that I am trying my hardest to keep our lives moving forward and that everything I have done was for us. He doesn’t care that I took a job I know I’m going to hate and for less pay then the last one. He doesn’t care that I am doing all of this for us and our future. He doesnt care as he’s yelling at me, calling me a failure. I know the love he once had is completely gone now as his eyes reflect the coldness of his heart. I’m trapped here with him. His helping hand is becoming my nightmare. I have no where else to go. I am trapped and that’s how he wanted it. This is my nightmare but there is no waking up from this dream.
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9 comments
You’re not trapped. thinking you’re trapped is a trap in itself (one that I fall into all the time)… Do you have anyone you can go stay with?
scary how much i can relate to that statement.
Snowy, ask him to analyze his own past fuck ups before character assassinating you. All of this on top of the absolute max’d out worry you’re feeling over money worries…which, of course is the reason he is reacting the way he is BUT it’s NOT a justifacation for his many put downs thrown your way.
This is going to require a calm head. I think you should contact all of those you are behind with ( gas, electricity, rent ? ) and explain fully what your current state of play is and how you want to resolve it best you can…or have you already ?
Im sorry hear about your troubles. I believe you and your husband can work things out. Please dont go assuming that they wont.
If you can try to borrow some money and get the bills paid…. then try to work things out with your husband. Let the past be in the past and try to patch things up.
Im sorry hear about your troubles. I believe you and your husband can work things out. Please dont go assuming that they wont.
If you can try to borrow some money and get the bills paid…. then try to work things out with your husband. Let the past be in the past and try to patch things up.
I wouldn’t say his love is gone. A lot of times when people get angry they say and do things that they normally wouldn’t because they are just overwhelmed by what they are feeling in the moment. Maybe once you’ve both had a chance to calm down you’ll be able to get a game plan going together. Best of Luck.
If he can’t trust, who can he trust? It is obvious that he feels betrayed. If you have a problem and hide it from him, how is he supposed to feel? Can you put yourself in his shoes? He can couldn’t even help since he wasn’t aware of anything.
Through your actions, all you did was delay the problem.
He wanted you trapped? Did he take control of your brain to hide those bills too? Was he also the one to cause the loss of your job?
Reading through your past posts, i’d honestly say your best bet would be to leave.
no one should have to feel that way because of anyone, no one has the right to impose their will over someone else’s. all the sweetness in the world doesn’t make up for those moments.
and it doesn’t matter what the excuse. i think it’s a terrible inevitability that we end up hurting the ones we love at some point, and i’ve hurt people and hated myself for it.
but being stressed and upset and lashing out at others because of it is wrong, and it sounds like he’s taken a lot out on you.
would your family be willing to take you in? some lives just can’t move forward together, some people and combinations are toxic no matter how much love there is or was.
i never felt trapped in a marriage, but i know the feeling of being controlled and out of viable options. i’m not questioning your motives or actions, it’s your life and you have your reasons. there is always a choice, though.
Sorry for the delay in responding we talked and things were going ok but now it’s just more shut. I appreciate all of you taking the time to give me your thoughts and opinions.