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Loneliness+Insanity=Plea to Die

by Zetsumei

What the Hell am I doing messaging the ex who clearly hates me!? Why am I hoping for one last chance when I know I destroyed my last chance… I wish something would end already: either my existence or this weak, tiny voice screaming out to be saved by her; I don’t care which. I wish I was stronger and could rewind time… Even now that voice is singing, “This Love Never Ends” by Takeda Touhei, even though the dark abyss is blasting, “Not Strong Enough” by Apocalyptica…

I guess I just want to play one last game of tempting fate. No, it’s not tempting fate anymore. I know I’m playing Russian Roulette with every chamber filled… It’s finally Game Over yet I’m glad I gained an experience to be regretful for. Once the game ends, I won’t have to hurt anyone ever again… I feel the approaching calm in a week. Heh, I’m actually smiling in real life.


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day2day 7/23/2016 - 3:43 am

Don’t worry we’ve all done dumb things, esp when it comes to love/relationships. Same here, too often I’ve gone for the longshot when I knew that it wouldn’t work out and I regretted it after.

People don’t really want to be therapists for others. Maybe she thinks that’s the reason you’re turning to her or she might be turned off because of your present state. Whatever the case, it’s best to forget about her and focus on making yourself better. Consider getting an actual therapist, talk to your family or closest friend(s) about how you feel.

One little lesson no one ever taught me (when I was young) but I figured out the hard way was thinking about how we appear to the person we’re interested in. Ask yourself if there’s a girl you want to date, who is she more likely to be drawn to, someone who is depressed, upset, in pain, needing of help or a guy who was happy, confident, successful, easy-going, etc?

Or who would you rather date if you were faced with that choice? I think the answer is obvious unless the other person is in a similar boat or is not that picky. But most people avoid sad people and are drawn to those who are happy/carefree, it’s human nature.

soulsister 7/23/2016 - 7:06 am

Yeah like fuck it what’s the worst a text could do huh? Lol we all done it.

Cold_Sleep 7/25/2016 - 2:46 pm

I can relate to some parts, and it sucks, this feelings, it really does :(. don’t know what else to say, its horrible

NANA OSAKI – ROSE . maybe this song you will like

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